Advice on dealing with a "non-girly" bridesmaid.

If she accepted I quite sure she assumes she need to wear a dress. If she’s your friend just talk to her. As casual conversation hey are you going to be alright wearing a dress for my wedding or joke around and say do you love me enough to get all dolled up for my big day?

I would ask her what she'd be comfortable in. I've seen women in jumpsuits and women in a gorgeous tailored feminine suits before. I'm sure she wants to fit in, but I'm sure you want her to be comfortable too

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Agreed- lots of wide legged jumpsuits look like dresses when you're standing.

I think she might be willing to wear a dress for your wedding if she's worn one to other formal events.I don't think its unreasonable for her to not wear a dress or makeup on such an important day either, You are well within your rights to just ask her.

I think she could accept that a certain level of girlyness is expected of her, and she may embrace it. At my cousin's wedding, one of her bridesmaids was also pretty non-girly, rarely wears dresses, very "science nerdy" type. She was more than happy to wear a dress and heels (teaching her to walk in heels was fun) She got her nails and makeup done and even joined us for a spray tan. Nobody demanded it of her or forced her. My cousin was quite considerate and told her she didn't need to do any of that, but she was happy to do it. Your friend could still surprise you.

I guess you could do a bridesmaid activity that isn't really girly. Like I don't know, a shooting range, paintball or something like that. Find something that isn't so girly but the other bridesmaids and you would enjoy and have fun.

If she won't wear a dress, and you're cool with that then maybe a jumpsuit. I've seen that as an alternative to a dress and they look classy.

Several of my bridesmaids aren't girly, but they were more than happy to buy dresses. I picked a color, fabric, and length from Azazie and let the girls pick their own dresses so they could go more their style!

We have mixed genders on both sides of our party and some females that aren’t quite so feminine. I would leave the option open to her. Show her the dress(es) that you’re considering and see how she feels about wearing them. If not, you can work together to find a good alternative. Jumpsuits are a great option. I wouldn’t worry too much about the planning process being too “girly” for her. Do things as you normally would and ask her if she wants to participate in whatever it is that you’re inviting your bridesmaids to (dress shopping, fittings, etc.) If she wants to attend, great! If it’s not her thing, that’s fine too!

Since she's worn dresses for special occasions before, I'd check with her to see what she prefers to wear!

I don't think it needs to be a dress. Like PPs suggested a jumpsuit would be nice or even a pantsuit. I've seen many wear pantsuits and others in the bridal party are in dresses

One of my sister-in-laws was my junior bridesmaid and is is not girly at all. She was totally fine wearing a dress (she performs in plays all the time so she'll wear whatever). Her big concern was hair and makeup, her mom was trying to force her to have some girly hairstyle, wear fancy shoes and have some makeup. I looked at my SIL and said wear flipflops or sneakers, don't wear makeup and don't worry about your hair. My MIL death glared me but my SIL had the most appreciative look on her face. So my advice is, ask your friend what she wants. Maybe she'd rather a dress than a jumpsuit (jumpsuits aren't comfortable on all body types), or maybe she wants to wear a pants suit. Just talk to her privately and let her know you're on board with whatever she's comfortable with.

I know someone who just did a very cute matching jumpsuit for her SIL who does NOT do dresses or girly stuff. She looked absolutely stunning, still matched the other bridesmaids, and got to have her own way of standing out as the sister of the groom.

If you choose a larger retailer like David's, you may be surprised how easily you can find non-dress options that will still match your bridesmaid dresses!

Don't assume though. If you do want to give her the offer of not wearing a dress, don't state it in a way that you're making the decision for her. Give her the option, let her know you don't want her uncomfortable and that you are comfortable with either a dress or a matching jumpsuit.

Ask her what she is comfortable wearing. Maybe she could wear a jumpsuit (they make really formal ones that look like gowns.) I'd be open to her wearing a suit too, and matching the groomsmen. It's okay to ask for a certain level of formality, so feel free to make it clear that it will be a formal event, but then let her decide whether or not she wants to wear a dress.

If she’s that close with you, I would assume she would wear a dress for the wedding for you. I’m not a girly girl by any means and basically only wear dresses for special occasions and own no makeup except for chapstick. I feel like with weddings most people do dress up and she probably knows that being in a bridal party entails a dress.

I'd just ask her. Jumpsuits are fine but if your wedding is formal you should allow the suit. All the eyes are on you anyway so it doesn't really matter

She may want to wear a dress for your big day, I would definitely ask. If she isn't into it though, would she feel comfortable in a tux like the groomsmen? May you could find a classic jumpsuit to match the dresses.

As for non-girly girls planning a wedding, my FW is not so much butch but definitely not what people think of as girly. She loves planning our wedding with me. She has her own ideas, but if she likes mine she often tells me to run with it. Your friend might have the same kind of outlook on it. Run ideas by her and see if she wants to help you execute your vision. If not, I'm sure she can help in other ways if she is able.

All you can do is ask her. If she's comfortable wearing a dress for you, great! But if it's an issue, ask her how you can make her comfortable. Jumpsuits are a great idea, or even a tux if it swings that far. As for the girly events, that's another place where all you can do is ask and invite. If she's down, she's down! If she says something isn't really her thing or she feels uncomfortable, she'll say something. If you're close enough to this person to want them to stand with you, just open up that communication. It's your wedding and you shouldn't be bending over backwards to accommodate everyone, but as your friend, you should be able to have a little flexibility for her with no issue.

Ask her how she feels about wearing a dress. If she does not feel super comfortable, there are wedding jumpsuits that might work for her. We have a BM in our wedding that is not super girly and never wears dresses, so we asked her if she wanted to wear a dress, a jumpsuit, or a regular suit. She actually chose the dress. So you may be shocked at her decision.

A jumpsuit would be a good option if the dress is out of question. But If you make exceptions with her, the other maids might expect the same treatment and things could get a little out of hand. I’d ask her if she is okay wearing a dress.

Can she get a jumpsuit instead of a dress if she doesnt want to wear one? I've seen some that are super cute! https://www.theknot.com/content/bridesmaid-jumpsuits

If she doesn’t like dresses, don’t make her wear one. There are some cute looking pantsuits out there that she might feel better in.

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That looks gorgeous!