Advice on cutting a family member from the guest list

I wouldn't invite him (or his wife). Just invite the people you want to be there and celebrate with. Also you weren't invited to his so I feel like there's no pressure there.

Dont invite either. The day is yours and its special to you. Only invite people who will enhance your day and make ot fun.

I would say, do you girl. Absolutely DO NOT invite someone to your wedding that you don't like and doesn't like you. Whether you were invited to their wedding makes no difference here. How I would do it is: If you are close with his parents, you can absolutely invite them and should if you want them there. If you feel like it would cause family issues, then just invite the parents (no siblings of his). If you feel like it would be okay, then you can invite the siblings you are closer with.

Honestly I think it's too awkward to not invite him but invite his siblings. It definitely singles him out and says you don't like him which could create an uncomfortable dynamic with the rest of the family.

If you're trying to trim the guest list then I'd just cut the siblings too

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Yea, I feel like not being invited to theirs is all the reason you need to not invite them to yours, if anyone should happen to ask you why. If he's a married adult, the "you can't invite one kid and not the other in the same household" rule does not apply.

I think you could invite him and he would decline. If he doesn’t care to see you. But maybe if he accepts it would give you guys an opportunity to reconnect and let go of your rocky pasts. But it is your wedding and if they thought of having him there gives you anxiety then just nix it and don’t invite him.

I would definitely not invite him or his wife! Only invite the people you want to be present on your wedding day

I see no need to invite him....you haven’t spoken in over 6 years. The only time I ever say you must invite family is if they are a parent or sibling. After that it is totally up to your relationship. We are not inviting all of our family for several reasons, first we do not have enough money or venue space for all, secondly they are not involved in our lives, and third we have no contact except if it is a funeral.

I wouldn’t invite him or his wife. If they say anything you can use their wedding as an excuse.

Don't invite him. You don't need that kind of negativity around you on your special day.

I had similar problems with my guest list! Out of our initial 125, 90 were my family! My finace wanted to know why I was inviting certain cousins I wasn't close to and it fell into the "well I'm inviting the rest" trap. The way I broke it down was "when was the last time I saw or spoke to this cousin?" And "do I have a justified reason to not invite them?" I hate being left out of things and I know a lot of my family members were disappointed to be "trimmed" from family weddings so I wanted to include as many as I could. In the end I invited a few cousins who I only see at family gatherings but have no "beef" with, but didn't invite one of my uncles because it was too much of a risk for unpleasantness. There's no getting around the awkward that may unleash but none of his sisters are surprised and are all very supportive of our choice. If it's possible, can you talk to your aunt or uncle or a different cousin and get a feel? It may not be just you... I had to do that with my two bosses... asked the one if they thought the other would be uncomfortable with me inviting them. Turned out that boss was over the moon to be included.

I wouldn't invite him. It is inviting trouble in my opinion.

Your wedding is not a family reunion. If they are not close with you, if you do not talk to them or spend time with them...exit their name right off the list. No need for them to be there. If their momma gets upset...oh well, she can plan and pay for her family reunion.

Thank you everyone! I feel much more secure in my decision to cut this cousin. I love getting married in a time where we aren't as bound to traditions and old etiquette.

I have not invited anyone to my wedding that I did not want there. Even people my mom thought I should invite. If I don't want you there, I'm not inviting you. Plain and simple. It's my day.

I have 14 cousins on my father's side, and I'm literally inviting one aunt and one cousin. Because they're the only ones I have a relationship with.

And I don't feel obligated or bad about it. It doesn't sound like a secret that you two don't get along, so invite his/her family and not him/her. I'm sure the cousin won't lose sleep over it, and neither should you.

I'm only inviting people who I love and have a relationship with. I am inviting NO ONE out of obligation. My MIL did have some cousins I've never met. The perks of paying for your own wedding is you make the choices. MIL is paying for venue and reception, so she gets a little say, but she knows that I'm the one in charge of the guest list ultimately.