My FH's grandmother made my wedding dress, she offered, I accepted. I got all the materials and the pattern, and she put in her time. It was a nice touch. She didn't mention any stipulation when she offered. Months after we got the material, I mentioned FH and I wanted to get married at the courthouse instead of having an elaborate ceremony/reception and she got offended, because she didn't want to make a dress just for us to go get married at the courthouse.
I mentioned I might want FH to see the dress prior to the wedding (I was considering first look pictures) and she refused. Said the dress would stay at her house because it was HER work and she didn't want FH to see it until wedding day...fair enough. she made it. It irks me that she is making that decision for me, but I'm not fighting it.
So we go through and plan this elaborate wedding. Invites went out in May, wedding is September. Now she is asking all sorts of questions about who's invited. We started with a guest list of about 120 and realized, with our budget that's impossible. So we cut down from 120 to a little under 70. I added the obvious people on FH's side and asked if there were any more people that he wanted to add. He said No. During the down-size process he specifically stated that he really didn't care if certain people were invited but he would much rather not have them there. I removed them.
Now about from the wedding date, FH's grandmother is asking whether these certain persons were invited and I say no. It was over text, but she seemed offended. Asked if these other 2 people (that fall in the same relationship category) were invited; they were. Apparently she feels that we should have invited the other ones as well since they were the same types of family members.
I just told her that we don't love them any less than anyone else, but we couldn't invite everyone, it wasn't my decision who got invites on FH's side of the family, and not everyone from my side of the family was invited. She didn't seem happy about it.
So my question is, with her having made my dress...how much say does she actually get in terms of guests or other decisions??
FYI - We invited the one set of family members because my FH actually enjoys their company and we are a lot closer to them. One of the members actually happen to be a really close friend of mine too. The set of relatives that we didn't invite... one of them always acts superior to my FH and my FH really just doesn't want them there.
