Amber
Devoted January 2022

Advice needed on groomsman situation

Amber, on September 28, 2021 at 12:27 PM Posted in Planning 0 7
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My soon to be husband would love some advice on how to handle a situation with a groomsman.

Short story is the groomsman expects to make a speech at the wedding, but we decided that we do not want him to make a speech.
Long Story is this groomsman asked about making a speech very early in our planning process before FH officially picked groomsman and FH without thinking about all the intricacies of wedding planning said “sure”. I did not know anything about this until months later when I overhead the groomsman talking about preparing a speech. We only have 4 hours for a reception and already have MOH, 2 best men, a quick word from us, and possibly a parent or two to fit in during the speeches. Also, this groomsman has had a couple of comments over the last year that I feel are incredibly rude/disrespectful to me/mine and FH’s relationship and I am adamant about him not making a speech at the wedding. FH is planning on having a conversation with him about this and offering up the rehearsal dinner as a compromise, but not sure how to approach the subject. And we feel the groomsman will not be understanding.

7 Comments

Latest activity by Amber, on September 28, 2021 at 2:00 PM
  • Janet
    Dedicated October 2018
    Janet ·
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    I was going to recommend the rehearsal dinner, but then got to the end. That is a great compromise. If he is not understanding, then just tell him no, and make sure the DJ/MC doesn't give him the mic at the wedding

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  • Cool
    Super July 2020
    Cool ·
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    It’s tough because FH agreed already plus you are having other bridal party members give speeches… I would say the rehearsal dinner is the next best place for a speech but consider just having a heart to heart and drawing boundaries on the speech and have him keep as-is.
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  • Cece
    Super November 2022
    Cece Online ·
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    Could you maybe have all bridal party members give their speeches at the rehearsal dinner, that way it doesn’t look as though he is being singled out? Then just you as a couple and parents can do their speeches at the reception. That also lessens the amount of speeches your guests have to sit through at the reception (and trust me, less is definitely more when it comes to your guest’s experience).
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  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
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    I would just have your fiance tell him that due to timing, you've decided to limit speeches. It's your wedding, you make the calls. The rehearsal dinner is a good compromise.

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  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    I agree with this!

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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    I agree with Meghan!
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  • Amber
    Devoted January 2022
    Amber ·
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    Love this idea and this might be the way to go. We’ll have to think about if we mind not having the speeches in our wedding photos/video. Also just realized we’re planning to have the rehearsal dinner at a restaurant and I don’t think we’ll be in a private room, maybe we’ll have to go eat their soon to see how they set up large groups/how loud it gets.
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