Advice needed - cruise wedding

Here is my opinion. Your sister is doing what she wants for her wedding. As well as she should as it is her day; however for her event that means some people will not be able to go. I feel you should go only if you could afford it, even if alone. It is great that your partner and you do everything together but he has a valid reason (finances and anxiety) to not go and you two will always have a life together even if you spend a couple of weeks apart. It sounds like to me that you are leaning towards the side of not going. I think that your sickness and finances are an important reason. I would think about it and maybe speak to your mom but if you cannot go, you both will be hurt but she chose her type of wedding. Now if she can pay for your or help pay so that you can go then I would accept. If it is all on you then maybe take on planning a shower for her and bachelorette and still give a gift but say that due to these reasons you will not be able to make it. I will say do not mention the partner because you two are a unit but if it were me, my immediate response would be can't you go without him. Sorry you have this situation.

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Thanks so much for your advice. Another thing I neglected to mention...next year we are really trying to work towards moving closer to my family and starting our own family so there's a few more things we really need to be saving for. I feel like I am leaning towards not going.

As much as I feel terrible, maybe we can do something before/after the wedding as you suggested...a party or something. I don't think my sister is expecting us to come. She hasn't spoken to me much about the wedding and we talk a few times a week and we visited them just recently. It's certainly a 'no-win' situation :-(

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I would say you have a lot going on and a two week cruise is a lot, Does she need to get the marriage license in advance? If so, maybe you can be there for that. If she's assuming you cannot make it then at least she won't be hurt. I would say think on it and once you have made a decision and let her know and ask her to understand. Hope it goes well.

My friend got married on a 7 day cruise, and we had to fly in the night before and get a hotel room. I spent way more money than I wanted to (I did have a lot of fun though). I also went without my fiancé because he couldn’t get the time off and didn’t want to spend the extra money. I couldn’t imagine not seeing him for 2 weeks. My friend knew most people wouldn’t be able to attend and was very understanding of those who couldn’t. I think your sister knew that when she made the decision to take a 2 week cruise. I would just talk to your sister and tell her how you wish you could go but due to the reasons you listed you just can’t. I agree with the previous poster about trying to plan the shower or bachelorette party that way you can still celebrate with her.

If I were you, I wouldn't feel bad about not being able to go. Having a destination wedding means that you have to be understanding of people who don't want to or aren't able to attend. You told her from the start that you wouldn't be able to attend a cruise wedding and she still proceeded to book one, and a 2 week long one at that. She chose to prioritize her wedding vision over you being able to attend her wedding. I wouldn't waste any time or energy feeling bad about not being able to attend the wedding of someone who clearly doesn't care if you attend or not.

I think your sister is putting all of her guests, including you, in a really difficult position. 2 WEEKS is a long vacation by any stretch, and to take it as a cruise, which may or may not be how someone wants to spend that time, can make this really difficult for some people to agree to. My husband gets 2 weeks vacation every year and I can tell you with certainty that he would not choose this. I think that, while you feel bad, ultimately your sister can choose how she wants to get married but she can't choose how her guests make their plans or spend their own money. You need to make the decision that is best for your family - which is you and your husband. And, as someone already mentioned - she planned this knowing that you probably wouldn't go. At the very least, she shouldn't act surprised if you don't go.

My sister got married in Hawaii over 4th of July weekend a few years ago. At the time I had 2 children and my husband and I were planning a third. Since we live on the East Coast, airfare alone would have been extremely difficult for us to justify, since even though we technically had the money in savings, it wasn't what we wanted to spend thousands of dollars on. We also didn't feel like taking a trip like that with twin 2 year olds. So we didn't attend. We considered having me fly out alone but even then it was still too much. I felt terrible, apologized to my sister, and that was it. I am upset that I missed my sister's wedding, but I don't regret it, because it was the best decision for my family.

Don't go. Not worth using up your vacation time for something you don't want to do except 1 day , the actual wedding. You could be on board, and either so sick you miss the ceremony and all meals, or medicated and hating the effects from that.
They chose location as more important than having many people come. They could have had a stateside ceremony, then gone on a cruise vacation with anyone able to go. I would not take 2 weeks of saved up vacation time, and money, to spend on any wedding, leaving no time off with my partner. Wish them well, and see them when they return home . That much time is too much to ask, in your situation.

Go only if you feel comfortable! A cruise wedding is a huge commitment to guests. As with all destination weddings, the bride and groom should expect some family are unable to come

I'd probably skip it if I were you.
You could always take them to dinner before/after to have a little celebration with them. We had some friends do that with us since they couldnt make it to our wedding.

I worked for a company that pays for a cruise every year if you meet certain sales expectations. We won it last year and ended up going over Thanksgiving break. My boyfriend, now fiance, is a firefighter and could not get the days off so I went with my sister instead. I will say I think everyone else enjoyed themselves more. It was tough to be the one without their SO. If you think you're going to get sick anyway, I wouldn't go. That's just my preference. Also, put yourself in her shoes. If the roles were reversed would you be mad if she didn't attend? If not, you should be fine!

With everything you named, I wouldn’t go and I wouldn’t feel bad about it. But regardless of your situation, two weeks is too much time and money to spend for someone else’s wedding celebration anyway. No thank you!

I would never miss 2 weeks of work for a wedding. I don't even have that much vacation time! Your sister chose this type of wedding, despite you warning her. Don't feel guilty about not going