Advice from people who have been bridesmaids in long distance wedding with new baby

I think that if she doesn't understand that you want to stay home with your new baby then she's not a good friend/cousin. I would just tell her that after thinking about it you are extremely overwhelmed with the idea of leaving your new baby behind .. I don't think you owe her more of an explanation than that.. .. i don't think I would be a bridesmaid so soon after having a baby that is not invited, even if it is local

Generally, an exception is made for nursing mothers of infants, but if she's not making an exception, I don't think I'd go at all . . . Plus, aren't your parents and husband going to be invited to your cousin's wedding?

I would ask. Most people who say no kids will bend a bit for newborns because newborns don't really cause the "interruptions" some older kids can, plus they're more dependent on their mothers at that age. I've been to 2 weddings that were no kids but allowed infants because they were only a few months old and it was no issue. If she's still making a big deal out of it, maybe you're better off declining and explaining that you need to be close to your baby and you just don't see how it is going to work out. Unless you don't mind having someone else there to help out and they don't mind just coming along to spend time with the baby. Some people would love that!

I haven't been in this situation as a mom, but one of my bridesmaids had to travel across the country to our wedding and had a 4 and a half month old baby. The baby came to the other wedding events (rehearsal dinner + farewell brunch) but not the wedding itself. My husband's family is local and my in-laws live a mile away from our venue, so she was able to use their home instead of a hotel room, and my in-laws arranged a trusted babysitter who they knew very well. I would just talk to your cousin and see if she can help arrange things to make it easier for you. Some people make exceptions for newborns, others don't. I was prepared to make an exception for my bridesmaid because she was a bridesmaid after all, but after my in-laws offered their home and the babysitter, she jumped on their offer and it worked out. If your cousin doesn't have any family or trusted friends in town who can help out, then it isn't unreasonable to ask her to make an exception