Advice from married ladies

What do you wish you had known during planning?

- to save more time for photos. i was so flustered that i ended up missing shots i had in mind.

What did you not believe that you were told until you experienced it, if anything?

- someone told me ahead of time already that i should keep things simple because those things that i think are nice, are really just extras that the guests may not appreciate, it's just that they're there to celebrate you and so as a host you think about all these extra add on items as nice for guests when in reality their main goal is to celebrate with you.

What went wrong that you would change?

- a lot of things went wrong haha but none of it really bothered me other than me not getting ALL the photos i wanted.

What turned out better than expected?

- in my culture we have welcome photos and it's basically when a guest comes in after they sign in, they take a photo with the bride and groom and at the end of the night they get the print out of the photo in a nice folder as a thank you memento. i absolutely did not want to do this because it meant me standing there for an hour waiting on people to come. but our parents would not let it up because it is a cultural thing expected. but it came out really nice actually! because often times that was the only photo i had with many people for the rest of the night and it gave me a chance to interact with people that i wouldn't for the rest of the night.

I wish I had known that my fiancé would forget half of the tasks assigned to him and that I could not rely on his family to remind him of things that would traditionally (and that I had assigned) to be on his plate.


I did not believe or understand how fast wedding weekend would go, or that there would be so little time together from rehearsal dinner through the end of the reception.
Nothing went wrong that I would change. The biggest bad thing that happened to me was family not coming for COVID, but I’m glad we didn’t wait to get married to increase the chance that more family would come.
Honestly my wedding was pretty much perfect start to finish. It was relaxed and very “us.” And considering how stressful everything was planning the wedding, that relief of having everything work out was just huge.

I wish I had known what would have happened in 2020. It would have saved me tons of tears, money, and plan changes. Haha.


I am so glad I spent good money on my photographers. My wedding and post-wedding adventure shoot photos are beyond incredible and are highlights of all the craziness of last year. Spending money on quality photography is what I recommend to everyone.

I wish I had realized how our casually our guests would interpret a dress code. I focused on dress code descriptions on sites like WW, The Knot, and wedding blogs instead of actually considering how our guests think. I should have put the code as a fanciness level or two higher than how I wanted people to dress, expecting that no one would overdress, but plenty of people would under dress.

Also I wish I had better anticipated how many of our guests wouldn't dance at all. When I expressed disappointment after, my husband said he didn't expect most of his mountain biking friends (roughly a third of our guest list) to dance, but he never told me that ahead of time. I guess I always dance at weddings, and most people I hang out with also like to dance, so it really surprised me that half our guests probably didn't even do a single dance at all.

Also Covid. If I knew it was going to happen we would have just done a destination adventure elopement right away and not bothered planning a whole wedding that we spent a fortune on that most of my friends didn't even bother showing up for.

I wish I would have sat down in my dress after alterations for an extended period of time (I only sat to check if I could). The boning turned out to be too flimsy so there was a crease in my dress and it was far too low during and after dinner that I didn't notice until we got pictures back.

I wish I had more time for planning - meaning : to think things through, again and again, change my mind, see new options... I wasn't in any rush, it just became possible to do our wedding in 9 months, but now I can see so many new solutions !

I wish I had more experience in how such a day goes, I know it sounds silly because you can't know until it happens, but if you have someone very close do it, then it would. Like if my sibling or close friend would now get married, I would know some details. These are things very specific to the area where I got married, not like the stuff that everyone can write you here (which is of course also useful). Maybe try to find someone who had your venue and other vendors because they might tell you "This restaurant is great but they serve in a different order than others" etc.

Also, I wish there was someone to take control. I had to organize stuff during my wedding, I gave a schedule to the restaurant about serving times (in my culture we have 5 courses so it is a large part of how the evening goes) and to DJ about music time but they did their own thing which upset me and I spent the rest of the evening closely following what would come when instead of relaxing. It didn't ruin for me looking back now, but while it was happening I was upset and it was a shame since it was my own wedding. I got startled when they told me they changed the plan, I wish I had someone to support me. I felt stupid to send my MOH up and down to say stuff to them so I did it myself. Wedding planners are expensive and most of us can't afford it, but maybe wedding coordinators are worth it?

I loved our day!
But I would have had a smaller guest list. We had about 75-80 guests and I think 50 would be ideal. And even though we are a dancing group I sometimes wish we went with the dueling pianos option we had been debating! Different and we are a big karaoke group so would have been fun to sing along. But everyone loved dancing so I am happy!

Maybe also a dress that was less heavy. I had a gorgeous mermaid dress but it was so heavy!!