Advice for Holidays

I agree that this decision was made prior. In a marriage or co habitation relationship you have to equally split it. I feel that it is very important for him to see his family on Christmas then he should go and spend time with your family too. I would say his family gets Christmas eve and your family gets Christmas and next year swap. If he does not like that then even though not the best solution he can go to his parents house alone but I think when you are both calm have the discussion of not changing plans. I think one family should get thanksgiving and one christmas and swap next year because I understand that as a married couple you also want to have your own personal time and traditions.

Then he can go see his parents while you take care of the pets. Sorry to interject my opinion on your job but maybe next year no watching animals during the Christmas holidays because it sounds like a small part of the issue is the fact that you have to work and cannot take the pets with you. I think if that factor was eliminated then that would help. I think he is used to Christmas at his parents so express to him the importance of creating your own traditions to have breakfast together and then maybe next year do lunch at his parents and dinner with yours and swap those times?

One thing to remember as the two of you work through this is next year things will be flipped! I can understand him wanting to see his parents on Christmas day, and have a feeling he is also trying to navigate having parents with hurt feelings that they may be spending their first christmas day away from their *baby boy* (trust me, I have a very sensitive MIL and things like this can be hard for your husband because he doesn't want to disappoint you or his parents).

Initially I thought this would be a simple fix and you could just flip the days - but that wouldn't work because then you wouldn't get to see your brother? Try talking to your husband about that, and make sure you're able to express to your husband, and that both of you are able to express to his parents, that Christmas eve is still a very special time and not to view it as "losing Christmas day" but gaining a new Christmas eve tradition I do agree that adding additional travel on Christmas day would be very stressful for y'all, and honestly could take away from the magic (and relaxation!) that this day is supposed to be about! I know this may be an unpopular opinion - but if your main source of income is pet services, not working during the holidays really just isn't an option, so props to you for making sure you're taking care of your job, husband, and families!! GO GIRL!

In these types of situations it is so, so easy for everyone to get snappy and confrontational, especially when it's last minute or additional stress around the holidays, but putting on a good face and making sure everyone feels heard and framing the situation in a positive light will keep good moods all around, and make it easier to hopefully have the holidays work in your favor (or a good compromise!)

Are his feelings normal? yes. Some people really value family especially during the holidays. I have to make Christmas cookies on Christmas eve. I am my FH finds that odd until he eats some lol. Not bad that family is important but I agree that once you two move then you will have to split up the holidays and sometimes his family may need to travel to you. Maybe one year you can host Christmas brunch or dinner at your house and invite both families. Best of both worlds.

If you're going to his parents house xmas eve I don't see why you need to to go again xmas day, absolutely not. You guys still need to spend time with your family too, as previously agreed and spend some quality time together. Does his family usually want you guys to do everything with them?