Advice for a Bridesmaid

Personally I think the only required event is the wedding itself.
I would just let the bride know you're only comfortable with attending 1 bachelorette party (bc honestly 2 is ridiculous) and that's that.

I don’t understand why there’s two bachelorette parties, and I really don’t know why you would need to go to both. I also agree that it’s strange for her to be covering the MOH expenses as well, but that’s between the two of them. However, your only required participation is a dress and to show up at the wedding with a happy smile. The rest of it is nice to do, but not a requirement.

I can’t say from a bridesmaids point of view but as a bride to be who has chronic illness, and who recently lost their extra income ( im on disability) and this has made money even more tight on top of planning a wedding. I know even before the loss of income I wasn’t a huge fan on too many parties or anything. I didn’t expect anything from anyone because most of my bridal party doesn’t have money like that. I’m having a engagement party in October but my moms paying for most of it and my best friend is hosting it with my sister who are both MOH. I don’t expect gifts if people can’t afford and really I just want to enjoy myself. I do find it odd that she’s offering to pay. I am not paying for anyone’s things but gifts for the bridal party and what not. My bridal party is covering their dresses and all that. I would honestly just have a conversation with her about how you feel and why. If she and her family have money, and it’s not something they stress then maybe having you there is important and she would rather pay for you then you miss out. I would be person if we had the money but I would also understand if someone wasn’t comfortable and I would either figure something out or just be okay that they are missing out on a few things because they don’t want to feel like a burden. It’s really up to you but I would talk with her and get her feelings on you being or not being there to start and if she would be upset if you weren’t at everything and go from there...?

Your only requirement is to purchase the bridesmaid dress and stand with the bride at the wedding. Anything else like parties and showers are totally optional

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I was also wondering about the two bachelorettes. I thought two was a bit much

You are not required or obligate to attend any of these events. I understand you want to, but if you cannot financially then just decline. She's a horrible friend if she doesn't understand that. I'm sorry you're in this position.

I would make sure you can buy your dress. She seems pretty understanding about finances and truly wants you to take part. Budget for extras if you can and be honest when money comes up you only have X to contribute to the shower or Y to one bachelorette party or can't afford both. It sounds like she wants you to be part of the experience and doesn't want money to stop you. A true friend. I'd pay her back in friendship.