My FH’s son is 17 and autistic, we have him 50% of the time. While he is high functioning he still has his moments. Originally when my FH first mentioned to his son that we were going to get married, his son had a complete meltdown! It had nothing to do with me and we already all live together. It was just to do with us getting married. Over time he has finally come around and we can actually speak about the wedding with him and he doesn’t get upset (this has taken nearly a year) That said he can be completely unpredictable and while my FH’s ex wife and the son are invited to the wedding, the morning of he might decide he doesn’t want to go.
I originally wanted the son to get a tux (just like my boys) but not even knowing if he is attending (still haven’t received the rsvp and who knows what he will decide) we decided it was best if he does attend to just let him wear whatever he was comfortable in and not put any pressure on him to wear something formal or to even have to participate in any way.
Well... today the ex wife talked to FH about the wedding and claimed they are attending (even though she thought our wedding is in April not March). When she found out my boys were wearing tuxes and had a role (walking me down the aisle) she went off on FH about how their son was excluded and why he didn’t have a tuxedo and no role!! I just wanted to add we are not having any bridal party and no one is standing up with us. My stepson is a sweet boy but there really isn’t any role for him and FH doesn’t want to pay $200 to rent a tuxedo with the possibility his son won’t even attend! Being autistic you just can’t predict how he will be on the day.
Any advice about this situation? FH is pissed that his ex is up in arms about this and I am now looking like I’m favouring my kids over my stepson, which is not the case!