Advice: Abusive Mother & Enabling Father

First and foremost: The subject of marriage and discussing a wedding has come up with my boyfriend. He has seen my family dynamic for almost a decade and has been with me through some very turbulent times. We are on the same page about putting each other first. We have not set a wedding date yet as we are going through potential wedding costs, and creating a guest list. We are considering a smaller, intimate wedding instead of an elopement.

The Situation:
I would ideally want my father to walk me down the aisle, but I don't foresee a way to invite him to my wedding without my mother coming, even if I were to explicitly make it clear she isn't welcomed.

Background:

My mother was very abusive growing up: Mainly in the verbal and emotional sense, sometimes physical. My father enables her behavior, and so do my aunts (to a degree) and my maternal grandmother. They all resort to the line of thinking of, "That's your mother/ That's who she is/ Just accept it/ Just brush it off". Sometimes it has led to gaslighting, "Why are you so sensitive?/ I don't think it happened that way". She has usually made family gatherings around the holidays awkward and uncomfortable with inappropriate remarks about weight, habits, etc. I have tried to heal my relationship with her on multiple occasions. She is the kind of narcissist to try and shift focus on herself.

There are only a few times when my mom has been selectively protective, kind, generous, and positive. All of these times have been on an unpredictable basis.

My sister and I are on the same page when it comes to avoiding her, and all of my family (my mom's side included) only sees her during the holidays, or rare family gatherings.

I am very weary of her saying that if my boyfriend and I were to get married, she would pay for the wedding with my father. If I opted to have a smaller wedding, they would help me make a down payment on a home.

I don't want to indulge her in this, because I know she would make it a point to guilt trip me, or attempt to insert herself or be inappropriate in moments that are supposed to be meaningful milestones like dress shopping.

I know my father would be crushed if he didn't walk me down the aisle, and it would create some family drama.

I don't think creating two ceremonies on different days is financially feasible for my boyfriend and I, especially if we invited more of our extended families.

Potential Solution:

I do get along well with my boyfriend's family, and I have considered asking his uncle to walk me down the aisle, and/or walk with my sister.

What Should I Do?

-Has anyone experienced a family dynamic like this? What did you do?

-Any suggestions or creative ideas are appreciated more than you know.