K
Beginner October 2020

Adults-only wedding

K. T., on January 25, 2020 at 1:07 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 15
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We are definitely having an adults-only wedding, and the people most important to us who have kids have already been informed. We still have 9 months until the wedding, so we haven't sent out save-the-dates or put up our wedding website. But I'm feeling kind of paranoid that even if we mention that the wedding is adults-only on the website, save-the-dates, invitations, AND address the envelopes specifically, people will just skim everything and/or not get the message and bring their kids anyway. Has this happened to anyone? How can I best avoid this?



Also, any tips on the most tactful yet clear way to phrase that the wedding is adults-only on the invites, website, etc.? It's not due to size or venue limitations (which would never work as an excuse, since our venue is quite large). We just dont want kids at the wedding.
Thank you!!

15 Comments

  • Sara
    Expert February 2020
    Sara ·
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    Just say adults only and reception to follow on everything. You don't have to give a reason.
    • Reply
  • Kristen
    Rockstar November 2020
    Kristen ·
    • Flag
    I say por it on the invitation. Adults only wedding and reception or on the rvsp card that way is clear. One lady in this site just posted how she reserved two seats and put two names on the invite and the couple tried to order for four them and their child. I say be as transparent as possible.
    • Reply
  • Chrysta
    Super November 2020
    Chrysta ·
    • Flag
    I agree with being transparent. Just clearly state on the invites & RSVPs that guests are invited to celebrate at an adult only event. If you are having an age cutoff you could include that too. Many venues include security, so if you have security at your event you could also inform them that no children are to be permitted.
    • Reply
  • Maggie
    Super April 2020
    Maggie ·
    • Flag
    We have on our website that we believe children will have more fun not attending than they will attending.
    • Reply
  • Andrea
    Master July 2020
    Andrea ·
    • Flag

    I think you should be as clear as possible on your wedding website but also from now spread to the word or let trusted family spread the word that it is for adults only. Some folks will unfortunately not be happy with this, however it is your wedding and it's perfectly fine to omit children from the celebration!

    • Reply
  • Maggie
    Super April 2020
    Maggie ·
    • Flag
    We also have everyone RSVPing online on the knot where people cannot add people
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  • Kristen
    Rockstar November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Smart move. Love it.
    • Reply
  • karen
    Master October 2017
    karen ·
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    I agree with being clear on website. Do NOT give any reason. Some people will attempt to "solve" the problem of no kids (for example, Aunt Jane, not coming, we can take that spot, my kids will enjoy the wedding, and we don't want a date night).

    • Reply
  • Nicole
    Savvy May 2020
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    I have been getting a lot of grief from family and my bridal party about having an adult only wedding... I completely understand!


    Below is my RSVP with the wording on the adult only wedding, so people dont bring them and are suprised... I also had to put on the RSVP that only 2 seats were reserved because my grandmother decided (without asking) to bring more than one person to our wedding... 🤦‍♀️Adults-only wedding 1
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  • Jeanie
    Super February 2020
    Jeanie ·
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    I put it on my webpage. However I also noted that my son will be there as and that our siblings kids are invited (which would have been 3 total if they all came). We’re having a small wedding, but if all our friends brought their kids, there would be a bunch of babies, and that’s totally not what we want. And no one has had a problem with it. Our wedding is a week from today and by being clear from the beginning has made it much easier for everyone to make plans.
    • Reply
  • Sherry
    Rockstar September 2019
    Sherry ·
    • Flag

    We had the info on our website but also included an insert with the invitations that were going to households with kids that said "Parents, we want you to be able to fully enjoy the wedding so we are requesting that all kiddos be left at home. Thanks so much and we hope that you can celebrate with us on our special day!"

    Everyone respected our wishes.

    • Reply
  • Kelsey
    Savvy October 2020
    Kelsey ·
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    THIS. It shocks me how many people genuinely think their young children will enjoy all aspects of a wedding. I clearly remember going to 2 weddings as a child before the age of 9 and finding almost everything except the cake and dancing to be incredibly boring. Most young children do not like the formal aspect of having to sit down in one seat, stay quiet and pay attention to speeches, dances they can't join and the ceremony itself. There's a reason most people plan to have coloring books, toys and games to entertain the children.


    But my parents also did not hesitate to leave me at home when they had too and my family typically has more formal weddings, so this also shapes my opinion.


    • Reply
  • Maggie
    Super April 2020
    Maggie ·
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    100%!!! My aunt got married when I was in middle school- I think 6th or 7th grade- and I hated every minute of it. Children are also easily over stimulated and the amount of lighting, music, and dancing all too much for children and they are at an increased risk for having a tantrum or genuinely getting sick. Also, most children’s bedtimes run between 8 and 9:30 and the typical wedding goes until 10. No one likes to be forcibly up past their bedtime. And I’m sorry but ceremonies ARE boring! Lol I have three people who have children and we legitimately told them we will give them $30 towards babysitting fees for that night. (I would rather be paying that than the $50 per child head at the venue and having a screaming 1-7 year old at the wedding)
    • Reply
  • K
    Beginner October 2020
    K. T. ·
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    The wording is perfect! I feel hope again!


    Oh, grandmas lol good idea to be specific!


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  • K
    Beginner October 2020
    K. T. ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Perfect!!!
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