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Expert October 2020

Adults only wedding

Alma, on October 5, 2020 at 4:16 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 25

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Anyone else dealing with a little pettiness from family members for having an adults only event? My first cousins, some uncles and aunts, didn’t even bother declining the rsvp, or even giving me courtesy call/text letting me know they are not attending. I heard it from other family members that they are not showing up because they all “have kids”. And also, one of my uncles is not going because I have “too many requirements”. My literal one and only requirement is don’t bring your kids lol. Mind you, all his children are adults and he has nothing to worry about. 🤷🏻‍♀️ People just like talking crap. I’m the first in our family that has an adults only wedding. Having a massive amount of children at your wedding is a cultural norm (Mexican)that I decided to ditch! Not thanks! By the way, my cousins are all going on a adults only weekend getaway the following weekend, but they made comments that they don’t go anywhere without their kids. How does that make sense? Honestly, I don’t care that they are not coming to the wedding, it’s the lack of common courtesy to let me know for me. Lol

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Latest activity by Milada, on October 12, 2020 at 1:03 PM

Master November 2020
Kristen · on October 5, 2020 at 4:30 PM
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I am not but my friend just got engaged and she decided she does not want kids and already her mom and mother in law to be are annoyed that she wants a no kid wedding. Some people do not want to get a baby sitter ha ha ha.
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Expert October 2020
Alma · on October 5, 2020 at 4:33 PM
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Ok but how does that affect her mom and MIL ? I bet they have no actual kids! Lol 😂 grrrr people!!
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Master November 2022
Chrysta · on October 5, 2020 at 4:45 PM
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We are having an adult only wedding. The only person who had an issue with it was FH‘s sister. She has 4 (very clingy, very high maintenance) kids. She will not be attending since she cannot bring them (Even though her husband’s parents are more than able and willing to watch them). To be honest, I was really relieved she said she wasn’t going to attend! She doesn’t allow her children or husband to eat anything that isn’t natural, organic, no added sugars, GMO-free, etc. it was going to be a nightmare trying to feed these people! And she had already complained about the entrée choices we had selected. She literally was expecting us to change our entire menu to suit her family. And it sounds like she had expected us to change our plans for the wedding and invite children so that hers could attend. Ummm...NO ma’am. I was ecstatic when she eliminated themselves from our guest list.
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Master November 2020
Kristen · on October 5, 2020 at 4:47 PM
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It doesn't ha ha ha. I told my friend it is her day and do what she wants and why are they offended. I am sorry your family trying you like that. I mean they can decline and let is go but I do not understand why people get so upset over kids not being invited to a wedding.
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Master 0000
Judith · on October 5, 2020 at 4:54 PM
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What other conditions? That difficult one, turning to the computer to answer? Requiring you get a pen to mark the card you put in the stamped addressed envelope?
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Expert October 2020
Alma · on October 5, 2020 at 4:59 PM
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Oh man! The drama! Lol. Yours sounds like a more difficult situation since it’s your sis in law. But I’m glad you’re getting that trouble off your back! haha.
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Expert October 2020
Alma · on October 5, 2020 at 4:59 PM
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I don’t get it either! It’s not a kids birthday party, it’s a wedding! Why do people get so butthurt? 🤷🏻‍♀️ Lol
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Super October 2020
Eri · on October 5, 2020 at 5:00 PM
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When a wedding is adults-only, some guests with children will be put in a position of having to figure out childcare, and going to an event without kids may not be easily feasible.
One of my friends has a toddler and was trying to figure out how she was going to handle the logistics of being in a wedding that doesn't allow kids.
People definitely do like looking for things to complain about though -- and an adults-only wedding is an easy target for that.
I hope those comments subside and you have a wonderful wedding!
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Expert October 2020
Alma · on October 5, 2020 at 5:05 PM
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Thank you so much ! And I completely understand the part where people find it difficult to find a sitter. I just don’t like the sarcastic commentary like “we all have kids”. Okay, and?? Lol. How about “I don’t have a sitter, sorry I won’t be able to attend”. And just the fact that they don’t rsvp at all or let me know is annoying. Thank you for your good wishes they definitely won’t be affecting my wedding day lol.
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Master November 2020
Kristen · on October 5, 2020 at 5:08 PM
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Here is what I think. Life events people feel they have a say in what you do so at the end of the day you two need to do what makes you two happy and if others do not like it...BYEEEEEEE lol.
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Super March 2021
Kimberly · on October 5, 2020 at 5:09 PM
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Honestly I wouldn’t take my 9 year old to a wedding even if it wasn’t an adult only wedding. I wouldn’t want to have to parent during a rare evening out with my fiancé. I’d prefer to enjoy myself and make arrangements for a sleepover or something for my daughter so she could have a fun night too. People just like to complain. Stand your ground and let them be petty. Hold your head high.
I am not having an adults only wedding because I do have a child myself who will obviously be at the wedding. But we only included 3 family children in addition to our children. Friends’ children were not included and everyone has been understanding because of the space constraints.
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Expert October 2020
Alma · on October 5, 2020 at 5:11 PM
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Exactly! Especially if him and I are paying our entire wedding. They ain’t got no say. Lol
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Expert October 2020
Alma · on October 5, 2020 at 5:12 PM
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I guess from a cultural perspective, it busy bothers that they expect me for me to follow the same traditions of having a daycare type of event! Literally all my cousins have had hundreds of people at their wedding, including kids. So I’m seen by them as rude. 🙄🙄🙄
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Super October 2020
Eri · on October 5, 2020 at 5:13 PM
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Totally agree! We've had people that just decided to not formally RSVP but told my mom they're coming, or claimed they RSVP'd but never did, and one guy who is going to make a "game time decision" for whether or not he's bringing his SO. Like I can't, lol.
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Expert October 2020
Alma · on October 5, 2020 at 5:15 PM
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I’m not a mom but my immediate siblings will have their kids there; they are part of my bridal party (ring bearers, flower girls). But if I were to include everyone else’s kids, it would be a madhouse and it’s not what I ever envisioned. My friends think just like you! They are happy they get to have a night out with their significant other and enjoy their time without parenting. I don’t understand why others don’t feel the same.
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Master November 2020
Kristen · on October 5, 2020 at 5:32 PM
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I see what you mean but I feel not all events need to be kid friendly. My MOH had her two daughters and her niece and that was because they were in the wedding party but even she said I wanted it to be like a date night for others. I see weddings like that too. Kids are cute but I feel I need to filter myself and watch myself with drinking so I do not really enjoy myself ya know? I do not feel weddings need to be kid friendly unless the couple wants to. I do not even think it is cultural thing I feel this issue transcends culture. Maybe people feel for this life even kids should be involved. For the ceremony sure, the reception nah!
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Super March 2021
Kimberly · on October 5, 2020 at 5:56 PM
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Dude your FSIL is kind of why I hate people. Sigh. 😁
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Dedicated August 2021
Faviola · on October 5, 2020 at 6:02 PM
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We want an adult only wedding as well. And I’m sure people are going to be upset. But at the end of the day is our wedding and we decide what goes and what doesn’t I been to weddings that little kids are running around the dance floor and the venue. I feel like if people really want to come a baby sitter can always be figured out. I never bring my kid to weddings.
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Master November 2022
Chrysta · on October 5, 2020 at 6:03 PM
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🤣🤣🤣 DITTO
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Champion July 2019
Veronica · on October 5, 2020 at 7:13 PM
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We had an adults only wedding. The only person I heard anything about was my husband's uncle. He shares custody of his two sons with his ex-wife. The ex-wife is very difficult so she would never consider letting him switch which weekend he got them so he could attend. He didn't want leave them with a babysitter since he only gets to see them two weekends each month. After our rehearsal, some people met up at the bar within the hotel so he came to that with the kids so it was nice to still be able to see him. Otherwise, nobody said anything to us. They either found a babysitter or didn't attend.
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Adults only wedding

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