Adults Only Rehearsal

If you're doing adults only, you're doing adults only. You're being consistent with your wishes, which she was well aware of, so I don't think you're in the wrong here.

I don’t think it’s wrong. Mine is adults only too, and after arranging everything my brother announced they were pregnant. Even though I was very clear no kids, they still went around me and asked the venue if they could bring the baby 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️Then my sister refused to leave her 6 year old at home, and decided she is bringing her to Jamaica, and not stay at the resort I picked. Now both brother and sister are staying at a different resort, and my brothers wife is not attending the wedding, so she can watch the kids and my brother and sister can come. I explained it will cost me more money if they don’t stay with us, but they didn’t care.

This is our one day where it can actually be about us and not everyone else. Kids and weddings.....why are we expected to accommodate other people’s children.

Stand your ground. No kids allowed for one freaking night! It’s one night I’m sure the kid will be fine without his dad for a night. And no other kids for him? Sounds like fun for the kid 😬

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Thank you for that. She most definitely was aware of this, so hopefully if she gets mad she gets over it quickly...

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Yikes! Family right?

That's what I mentioned to her, that there will be no other kids. She said it's fine because he can occupy himself with his tablet. She's clearly missing the fact that no means no.

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That is so stupid. I just don’t understand why it is such a big deal to have no kids around. It’s not like you are allowing one and not another. I hope she respects your decision! Stay strong lol

I don't think you are wrong. You are being consistent and not making any exceptions which is completely fair. He can play on his tablet without being at the rehearsal.

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Agreed. I glad to see I'm not being unreasonable here.

Not Wrong At All.

Adults only is a perfectly fine consideration for a wedding. I think its completely selfish of your sister to demand you make an exception to a very reasonable and commonplace boundary to accommodate a child you have never even met before and have no relationship with. It is not your job to ensure that a sister's boyfriend spends time with his kid.

You’re fine! Your sister can come to the rehearsal alone or he can have a sitter for a few hours. Honestly, I can’t imagine he’s thinking what great quality time he’ll spend at a wedding event with his kid (not fun for kids).

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That's a very good point. I'm just trying not to be the bad guy but you're completely right...it's not my job to make sure he spend time with his kid. Thanks for that.

You are fine. If he has limited custody and cannot rearrange a visit, or if he just wants to spend more time with his son in general, he should stay home with him. Not drag him along to an all adult dinner of almost all people he does not know. He is not needed for the rehearsal, and if dinner follows, he is essentially missing a dinner party. He is a guest, sis is the one in the wedding party. Party hosts are not responsible for uninvited children of guests of guest or WP. Child care, or time spent with one's own children, is strictly a parent's responsibility. She asked, you said as host, that the child was not welcome. End of story.

Having an adult only wedding does not mean that the couple doesn’t like kids. I think that’s always the mixup. It simply means that you want an adult only event. We are having the same. It is not a terrible request (so don’t feel bad). When someone becomes a parent, they have to realize that their child is not able to go everywhere and to everything. Therefore having reliable childcare comes with parenting. Also, your wedding is until August, so there’s plenty of time for arrangements to be made.

No means no, her feelings may be hurt but that is not your fault. Hopefully she will get over it,

I don’t think it’s wrong either. She’s just being bratty about it

I think it is totally fine. We had an adults only wedding except for the ring bearer and two flower girls. If he doesn't want to miss spending time with his child than he can stay home. You aren't required to have children at your rehearsal or wedding.

I don't think it's wrong at all. You've been very clear and upfront about this being an adult only event. It's your wedding and she needs to respect your wishes. She'll get over it eventually, but it's your bid day, you get your way

You can say no kids, you’re hosting an dinner so you decide who is invited. Your sisters boyfriend then can decline your invitation to the rehearsal dinner if he would rather spend time with his son, who is not invited. If your sister then also declines, that’s her decision. It would be pretty disappointing but just like she can’t make you invite the son you can’t make her attend. I’d just treat the adults like adults (like you have been) and let them know your boundaries.

You are not wrong. If you and your FH have decided on an adult only rehearsal and wedding, then your sister needs to respect that. Her fiance can go a few hours, or a couple of days, without having his kid with him.

Absolutely not. Your events are child free. Maintain your stance. It’s unfair to allow this couple, even though it’s your sister, to bring a child but no one else. These are things you and your FH agreed on and your guests, no matter who they are, need to respect your decision.