Adults only approach

I don’t think there’s any polite way to invite some children and not others. Either way, someone is going to be upset.

There's no polite way to do that.

There’s no way to invite some children and then tell others they can’t come. I’m a really laid back and open-minded person and that would really upset me if I had to leave my kids at home, pay for childcare, and then there were other kids there. I highly recommend not doing that.

Without putting specific wording on the invitation, you can always say something like "We have reserved "#" seats in your honor" on the RSVP card. This will let them know that you are only planning for that specific number of people from their party.

My opinion...your guests don't need an explanation from you as to why there are some children at your wedding and not theirs. They don't know your financial situation or the dynamic as to why their children were not included on the invitation. I'm sure I'm in the minority here, but I feel like if you are sending an invite to them you value them and want them at your wedding...that doesn't have to include their children.

Do a note on your invite! I’ve been to MULTIPLE weddings that do this and it’s not a big deal. Plus if you don’t put it on communication sent to them how will they know? Sometimes people get too caught up on this site in “traditional” views when realistically that’s just not how it is anymore lol.

On My RSVP Page I Posted That Children Were Welcome But Not Preferred Due To Limited Capacity. I Understand Some People Might Not Have Sitters But Theyll At Least Try To Take What I Posted Into Consideration. I Could Honestly Care Less If Some Guests Are Mad Or Not .

I agree with others that you don’t owe anyone an explanation as to who you are inviting! I love children but I am also planning to have an adults only wedding. I have young cousins and friends with children that I LOVE ...but I just don’t want them at my wedding because I feel like the parents will be too worried about their child the whole night and not fully enjoy themselves as guests. Just address your invitations accordingly when sending them out

I actually wrote this on our wedding website

"We love ALL of your children, however, we have decided to make this an ADULTS-ONLY celebration. We hope you understand!"

And on the invites, I am writing

"We have ( ) seat(s) reserved in your honor"

like that they know how many seats they have available for each family.

on our invitations i also wrote

"ADULT only reception to follow"

A friend of mine actually did this for her wedding last year and I thought it was a good idea.

--Hope this helps!

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Not only is that language super confusing to people (I'd be like "so... they're invited...? But not... wanted?") but idk, you should probably care about your nearest and dearest friends being mad about an understandably weird "rule" or non-rule?

OP, exceptions to the "no kids" rule are usually very young babies, children in the family, and children in the bridal party (those last two often overlap). There's really no way to be polite about only allowing the out-of-town guests' kids and people will probably be giving stink eye. You should just make an all-or-nothing choice, or just stick to family children.

We have been to several weddings this past year and young ones being disruptive during the ceremony and then running all over the dance floor. My daughter had decided she didn’t want children at their wedding. I don’t either. This is their day and an expensive one at that. She was still on the fence as her fiancé’s cousins have kids. After we looked over the guest list and guessed how many would actually come, we are really over the limit of guest. NOT including children. No one we want to scratch to allow for children and we are leaving people off that probably will be surprised to Not receive an invite So they talked and agreed it was an Adults only Celebration. He sent a nice text to his family before sending out invites. His Mom hit the fan!!! And a cousin. His mom even threatened not to attend. We are not talking about her grandchildren but great nieces/nephews. It saddens me that she feels this way. But as others stated to let some bring their children and others not, is not fair and we could be looking at 20+ children. Venue Size and our budget doesn’t fit more people