Adult only or Allow kids

Would you consider hiring on site childcare for her child and potentially other guests children?

If you are saying no to kids then that needs to be a blanket rule. I think if you tell everyone else they can't have kids and then allow hers to come (and a screamer, at that), then others with kids will be resentful.
Let her (and all others you invite) know that it's an adult only affair and address the invitations with their names only.

In this case I would definitely go with no kids. Offer to help pay for a sitter if needed. The news should come from your FH though so as not to cause any issues between you and her.

I would tell her it is adults only, and keep to that. If you feel like she won't come because she can;t find childcare, offer to help her find a sitter, even offer to help pay for a sitter if needed!

Is she a parent who is fully aware of how rambunctious her son is? Or a parent who thinks the behavior is normal and let's the kid scream and yell 24/7? If she is aware, could you offer to help with a sitter at the venue for the important parts (ceremony and speeches)?

She's terribly unaware and I've already bought her dress and am probably going to have to pay for her hair and makeup.

I see a lot of comments about offering to pay. At what point is my paying for her too much? It's not like the family is paying for ANY of our wedding.

I would definitely do no kids for everyone, or else she will probably feel hurt or embarrassed that her children couldn’t be there. Personally, if you really want her to come, I would offer to pay for a sitter for the night or at least help to, this way she can also enjoy a child free night. I’m sure she’d enjoy that more than you lol

Honestly I wouldn't offer to pay for her sitter. If you wanted kids at the ceremony/reception, I'd say yes you'd have to pay for on site childcare. It would be needed for the sake of your sanity and a nice video. If you do not want kids, she can find a way to come without her kid. You're already paying for her dress and possibly hair and makeup already. That's a much bigger cost than a babysitter.

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Paying "too much" depends on the extent you want her there.

There is NO WAY I would tolerate someone's kid who behaved like that. It would just stress me to the max on my day, especially if she is the type of parent to look the other way when he is carrying on.

I would just let her know you're unsure how her son is going to act. Being honest is probably your best bet

I would make it adults only. Especially since the number of kids you have on the moch list is so small. No need to upset her. Plenty of people have adult only weddings. You don't have to invite kids.

If I didn't have a child and our families weren't full of kids (my daughter will absolutely be coming and I want her to have kids to hang out with) our wedding and reception would be 100% child free.

I read that people have put the kids they want to be there in the wedding party some how so it’s not so obvious. It’s a little sneaky, but seems like it would work. I dunno though.

I agree to make it adults only. She can get a sitter for one day. I would not risk that nightmare! We are not having kids at ours, FH and I both agree on this. His brother is the best man and he has two small twins, and they will not be invited. If someone can’t be bothered to get a sitter for one day, fine you don’t have to be at my wedding. Tough love! Don’t even give her the chance to say he will behave. He won’t.

Perhaps offer to pay for a babysitter. If you say no kids then it means no kids.

For a really expensive and fancy wedding, as you described yours, I would definitely not invite any kids. I also don't think you need to pay for her sitter, especially if you've covered so much already.