Addressing Save the Dates

1. I would put "and guest". Then if they aren't dating anyone come time for the wedding or if their SO won't make it, they know that you're still comfortable with them bringing a friend or something.

2. I would write nicknames, especially if you've NEVER seen them use their full name. It would just make things awkward in my opinion lol

You can just put and guest for anyone you know is in a relationship but don't know their names.

For our save the dates, we put "and guest" for those we only knew one person in the relationship. While that isn't considered proper etiquette that's what we did. We also used nicknames. For invitations, we had inner and outer envelopes so for the outer we used their formal names and the inner we used their nicknames.

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That's exactly what I was thinking. I just wanted to make sure I'm using proper etiquette. Thank you!

1. I didn't include "and guest" or anything on the save the date. BUT If I am inviting both people in the couple, I did put both of their names. If someone is getting a +1, I didn't put that on the STD. I will put that on the invite. I have a few cousins that are in college and still live at home. I just sent 1 save the date addressed "the smith family" and they will all get separate invites. They really don't need 4 fridge magnets for 1 household (no matter what the etiquette is!). But for my FH stepsister since she is in the wedding party (she is 21 and lives at home but is in college somewhere else), I sent her a separate STD because I knew she'd want one.

2. I put nicknames. Example: fh step-mother goes be Dee but her name is Diedra (literally no one calls her Diedra)....I put Dee. Oh well. My FH doesn't even go by his first name. I am using his middle name on everything. He's a Jr and if I put his full name, I'd feel like I was marrying his dad, who goes by their first name. The STD can be less formal than the invite anyway. But even on the invite, if some people have literally never used their real/first name, I wouldn't put it. My grandpa is Charles, but goes by Charlie. He would think I was nuts of I addressed his invite to Charles....hahaha.

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Perfect. Thank you!

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That's what I was thinking. I know it may not be proper, but now that I think about it I highly doubt we would offend anyone by using their nickname. Thanks!

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That is a good point. I wasn't going to send multiples to the same house but we ordered a ton of extras and at that point it's just the extra .55 for the stamp lol and that's so funny about your grandpa. I have some relatives like that too. Thank you for the advice!

View Quoted Comment Exactly. I know I had this same debate when I was also doing programs and DJ introductions because one of the groomsmen goes by a nickname, but I wanted our programs to be very formal so I used his formal name for the program, but his nickname for the introductions. No one was confused, but his nickname is Joey and his formal name is Joseph so there really wasn't a way to confuse that.

1. I would list their SOs names. If you write “and guest” it allows them to bring literally anyone they want. So theoretically if they break up with their current SO, then they could end up bringing their friend or just a random date instead. Are you ok with that? If you are then I guess it’s fine to do “and guest” lol, but also I think it’s more respectful to acknowledge the relationship by inviting the SO by name. If they’re broken up by the time invitations go out and you still want to give them a guest, then you can address the invitation with “and guest.”


2. Totally up to you regarding nicknames. I listed most peoples full names but I have one friend named Carly who’s full name is Carolyn. I’ve known her 20 years and literally didn’t even find out her full name was Carolyn until about 2 years ago 😂 Also she hates Carolyn. So in that situation I just did Carly. It’s really up to you. Don’t overthink it :p

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I have to tell myself every day not to overthink things haha thank you for the advice!

1) I did "and guest" for the same reason. I just graduated from college last May and have many friends that are all over the place in the relationship department. I wanted to make it known that they could bring someone with them for planning purposes without specifically saying a person's name.

2) Nickname all the way. Makes it more personal

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Yes! My thoughts exactly. Especially since 3 of my cousins are coming from Georgia, I want them to know they can even bring a friend if it comes to that, whatever makes them happy. And I know they would never take advantage of me and bring someone completely random lol and I like that it makes things more personal. Thanks for your advice!