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Nessa
VIP December 2017

Addressing Save the Dates? Families, single guests, etc.

Nessa, on May 9, 2017 at 8:18 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 5

All of my guests live in Florida and our wedding will be in Tennessee, so we are getting ready to send Save the Dates. I've done some research on how to address envelopes but haven't really found a good guide and still have some questions.

For example:

A couple with underage children- do I address to "The Lastname Family" if parents share a last name? What if they don't? I found one site that says I should list the children's name but this seems a little lengthy.

Single guest who will get a plus one- do I address to "Ms. Singleguest & Guest"?

Because this is a destination wedding, I just want guests to know their children/plus ones will be invite, for planning purposes. Some guests may plan against going if they think they'll need to leave their children/hire a sitter or if a guest thinks they'll need to travel alone.

In the process of researching, I've read a lot about inner/outer envelope for invites. If you're just doing outer, what do you default to?

5 Comments

Latest activity by Nessa, on May 10, 2017 at 12:49 PM
  • LauraR
    VIP June 2017
    LauraR ·
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    I went very rogue with my addresses because I think the traditional way of excluding the woman's name is bogus. So I did John & Jane Smith on most invites. If it was for a family then I did The Smith Family. If I knew the name of a significant other then I put both names. Technically you can put "& Guest" for true plus ones but many say it's unnecessary for STD's. For all of these situations you can make it more clear with the actual invite by saying "We have reserved _ seats in your honor.

    I didn't handle the invites much differently but traditionally you would list out all invited for the family situation.

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  • Nessa
    VIP December 2017
    Nessa ·
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    Thanks @LauraR

    I wouldn't be as concerned if our wedding was in town, but our guests will have to travel, book lodging, take time off work, etc. so I want them to know now, instead of when invites go out in a few months.

    ETA: for married couples who share a last name, I am going with a Mr. & Mrs. Lastname for those who don't I'm just including both.

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  • KittyPrawn
    Master June 2017
    KittyPrawn ·
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    I have a cousin who (by choice) didn't get married, but has two children with her significant other. They have different last names. I addressed them as Ms. Ann Smith & Mr. John Lee and Family.

    Families with adult children still living at home, I sent a separate invite to each adult. Families with non adult children where "Mr. & Mrs. Joe Cool and Family."

    I might not be perfect etiquette, but it seemed to work. I also used word of mouth to make sure people knew that kids were included.

    Also, I included my kid's meal option on the rsvp card to make triple sure it was clear!

    For single guests with a plus one, I did exactly what you put above.

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  • Lynnie
    WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
    Lynnie ·
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    Save the dates can be more casual, so if all of the family is invited I'd go with "The Smith Family". In terms of planning for travel, I think it's smart to go ahead and address your STDs with "and guest"!

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  • Nessa
    VIP December 2017
    Nessa ·
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    Thanks @Lynnie I guess it only makes sense, even if it doesn't follow etiquette 100%

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