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Savvy April 2018

Addressing outer envelopes without inner envelopes

Bride2Be, on January 13, 2018 at 8:34 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 14

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How do you address the outer envelope of a wedding invitation if you're not doing inner envelopes? Specifically with kids names? Example: My cousin and his wife have 4 kids varying from age 5-15, would you write all 4 names under theirs?

Back story: Our wedding invites came with only outer envelopes. The ones they sent were the wrong size & the invites didn't fit so they sent larger ones (the actual size). The company said they do not sell inner envelopes for our invite. I tried searching for envelopes that would fit our invites and inside the outer envelope but no luck. The only reason I was considering inner ones was because of the addressing issues.

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14 Comments

Latest activity by Victoria, on January 14, 2018 at 8:12 AM

Super September 2018
Kristen328 · on January 13, 2018 at 8:39 AM
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If the whole family is invited address it to "The Smith Family"
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Master March 2017
BlueHenBride · on January 13, 2018 at 8:42 AM
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Yes, if you are inviting the kids, you would list their names in a line below their parents' names. I had inner envelopes for invites, but did this for our STDs:

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
Amy, Benjamin, and Claire
Address
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Master March 2018
Melissa · on January 13, 2018 at 9:03 AM
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I only had 2 instances where I had to do this since we aren’t inviting kids. And I just did The Smith Family then on the rsvp I put 4 seats reserved
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VIP May 2018
Brianna · on January 13, 2018 at 9:10 AM
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I just wrote "The Smith Family" as well,and I'm going to put the number of seats reserved on the RSVP.
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Super October 2017
stephanie · on January 13, 2018 at 9:13 AM
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I also added "and family" for those with kids.
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Mim · on January 13, 2018 at 9:37 AM
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I would avoid saying "and family" or "the Smith family" some are bound to interpret that as any extended family, their Uncle Joey, Great Aunt Gerty, or Cousin Sally (is she even their cousin or just some odd person who always seems to hang around?) could all assume they are a part of "family". List the names of the children under the parents on the eenvelope, add a note inside including them, or send an invitation directly to the kids.
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Master October 2017
fallinthegarden · on January 13, 2018 at 10:10 AM
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We just did "The Smith family" for families with kids. No one assumed that putting family on there meant they could bring random extra "family".
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Super March 2018
Stephanie · on January 13, 2018 at 10:23 AM
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I’m not sure that’s a realistic assumption. I don’t think if I got an invitation in the mail addressed to me “and family”, that I would naturally think I could bring any random extended family member I wanted. It implies immediate family.
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Expert October 2017
Adriana · on January 13, 2018 at 11:44 AM
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We did not do inner envelopes. On invites where children were not invited we did “Mr. & Mrs.” On invites where the whole family was included, it went to “The Smith Family.” No one assumed it included any extended family, or anyone not living in their home. We also had family’s where their children, much older and living home, had SO’s included, for those we did “Mr and Mrs” on the first line, then listed the child(ren) with their SOs on the second.
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VIP September 2018
EngineerInLove · on January 13, 2018 at 11:53 AM
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I would say most reasonable people would not interpret it this way, but anyone that thought an invitation was a free-for-all would probably try and invite extra family anyway even if names are listed!
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VIP May 2018
Red Queen · on January 13, 2018 at 12:05 PM
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We did "The Smith Family". Some of our friends have too many kids to fit on an envelope!
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Savvy April 2018
Bride2Be · on January 13, 2018 at 3:23 PM
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There's so many good points here! I think for the example family I used I will stick with "The Smith Family." I attempted to fit the kids names on one line under their parents but because they're each 9 letter long it's jumbled. However, I like the idea of doing the kids name under the Mr. and Mrs. so I think that's what we'll do with the remaining others. We did that with our STD envelopes & I think it went well. Thanks!
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Savvy April 2018
Bride2Be · on January 13, 2018 at 3:26 PM
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Thats a valid point and I came across the same advice before posting my question so I was skeptical. I'd like to think our family knows what the invitation refers to when it says "and family" but you can never be for sure! I know I wouldn't assume it was meant to include third cousins twice removed but maybe someone else would.
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VIP October 2018
Victoria · on January 14, 2018 at 8:12 AM
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We are addressing "and family". If it's not obvious it doesn't include random family members, it will become so when they go to RSVP online and that person's name is not there. (We are doing online-only RSVP.)
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