Addressing Married Couples

Your stationer is correct, properly it would be Mr. and Mrs. John Smith; however, if you want to put Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Jane Smith, there's no real reason you can't.

Personally, I think "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" has fallen out of fashion, and risks rubbing people the wrong way. The whole point of etiquette is NOT to rub people the wrong way, so the final arbiters of what does or doesn't adhere to the rules of etiquette may want to reconsider that one 🤷‍♀️

"Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Jane Smith" or even "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" are both perfectly acceptable. The envelope gets thrown out the second someone opens the invitation anyways, so I wouldn't stress about it too much.

We addressed ours John & Jane Smith and kept it simple. For non-married, we did John Smith & Jane Doe. The reality of it is they're going to be ripped open and trashed in 5 seconds anyway

I agree with everyone; it's a rule of traditional etiquette that has fallen out of style, and I don't think it matters if you disregard it. If I were a woman married to a man, I'd personally be offended to be tacked onto his name as an accessory.

One thing about titles, though! I was originally thinking along the same lines as you, and I wanted to omit titles. But my fiancée pointed out that doctors and clergypeople, etc, would be offended by that. They worked hard for a long time to earn that title. Something to consider.

I felt the same way, but unfortunately both sets of our parents thought it was weirder to not address them as Mr. and Mrs. John Smith. We ended up doing the traditional way for all our older guests, and then doing Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Smith for our friends/the younger guests.

I did mine very low key with first name's and no Mr/Mrs anything. Our wedding is at a state park though and anything else seemed to not fit with the vibe. I also did not write them out by hand and instead used clear labels in a fun font. It's all up to you and etiquette like that is so old school. If people can electronically rsvp, why stress over "the right way" to address someone on the invite? Just do what makes you happy.