Addressing invitation to a newly widowed guest

We had a nearly identical situation - we had just hand written all of the invitation envelopes, and we found out a close family friend's wife died unexpectedly. We wrestled with what to do - keep her on, just address it to him, add "and guest," etc. We asked my dad what to do because he was the closet person to this friend. We figured if anyone knows how he's feeling and how he would best receive the invite, it would be my dad. We also asked the friend's daughter her thoughts. They both had suggested to include "and guest" because (their words) "leaving her off almost feels like she's already been forgotten, but leaving her on was a painful reminder. "

Obviously every situation is different and some may feel differently in this. I encourage you to reach out to whomever is closest to this guest and ask their advice. It really is a hard situation to navigate!

Honestly, I think a phone call would be amazing. Each person could be different. I think I would want to see my husband on one last invite, the next girl might not be able to handle it.

You could just kindly ask what she would like as you didn't wish to cause more pain.

Wow. This is really sad. I'm not much help, because I agree with you, both versions can very likely have a negative response. How close is your fh's step mom to the guest? Does she have a recommendation?

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I agree ask FSMIL, and see what she suggests.

Thanks everyone! It's FH's step-moms friend. FH doesn't even remember the person and we have no way of contacting them. I thought about writing a note like "sorry for your loss, he won't be forgotten" and then I thought the same thing, some might love that, some might hate that. I'll ask FSMIL to decide since it's her friend.

I would keep it as is and if she gets mad so you sent it before he passed. I think that's a safer bet.