Addressing covid criticism

Honestly, I think a polite "we are proceeding with our ceremony because it's in our best interest" works. Then you and your fiance need to circle the wagons and be prepared to stare people out. No one understands that going ahead isn't a selfish decision because covid has been made into an emotional point, but you have your reasons to not wait. Even if it's just the venue won't let you postpone like us. It's just a huge mess and you need to tell people to tend their own chickens as my grandmother used to say.

I would say “it’s the best option and you hope they can consider being apart of your day”

That’s as much as you can ask of anyone I think. You can be understanding and respect people’s decisions. Just know and go in with the expectation that some people may not feel safe attending and that’s fine.

I sent out my invites and included an insert stating if they are uncomfortable coming please join us online when we stream the ceremony.

I haven't started my revised invitations yet, or the.. uninvites? (I have no idea what the word is for people who received a save-the-date but will now be invited to our postponed reception only.)

On the invitations to the 30-40 people that we hope to have at our ceremony this year, I'm going to do my best to make it clear that if they are not comfortable attending - regardless of familial relation or role in the wedding - that that is 1000% ok.

But I don't think I really owe them an explanation as to why we're pressing forward with a smaller event.

Now, for the ones that we'll be inviting to our postponed reception, we will definitely explain that we had venue restrictions and decided to keep the ceremony to immediate family/wedding party only, and that we hope to properly celebrate with them when things settle down.

No matter what you do, when you do it, how you do, etc. someone will find something to complain about or question you on... it's part of life I suppose. It's definitely annoying. I think as long as you do what's best for both of you, that's all that should matter! Just tell people that.. the decision you made was for your best interests and that's that. Try not to let people get to you and ignore the negativity!

I am not inviting any guests from the beginning just because, and it’s not covid related. Just personal choice to have a wedding in Hawaii and have honeymoon right after. However, yesterday our venue said that the governor decided to extend the 14 days quarantine, so we canceled our wedding for this July.


Reading all these news I am soooo terrified with how local people react to tourist. I do understand them, but as a traveler and destination wedding bride, I am so glad I canceled because we don’t feel safe either.

I didn’t. If they want to come, they’ll come. If not, they won’t and I won’t hold any hard feelings against them. It’s a weird time.

Yes I have had backlash, but my response is if you do not feel safe please do not come I understand. I need a judgement free zone though for anyone that shows up- I don’t want them sitting there judging us for getting married. This could take months-years for this virus to completely disappear so we have to move forward and get married!

I’ve gone into it a little bit with some people but I’m so sick of trying to appease people. I quickly learned that there is literally nothing I can do to make people happy. So I just told people the precautions we are taking and if they are uncomfortable I understand if they don’t come. I quickly learned that a lot of relatives have really ignorant opinions and unhelpful ideas (I know they are just trying to help, but their suggestions truly are stupid and just stress me out because it makes me feel like they dont think I’m doing enough!). We’re providing hand sanitizer and following our state guidelines for distancing. That’s all we can do!

You really just cant please everyone. But also, no one should be getting upset or offended at you for making the decision thats best for you. Just explain in a separate piece of paper with the invite that due to these crazy unprecedented circumstances, that is the decision you needed to make, and your guests are also free to choose whether they are comfortable attending your wedding or not.