Add a 2nd maid of honor??

Your MoH should be YOUR choice, not your mother's, not what "tradition" or "society" think you SHOULD have, etc. I would explain, in a calm and mature way, just what you said here....that you aren't that close to your sister and she's too busy to take on all the responsibility. It's YOUR wedding, so your MoH should be YOUR choice. =)

That's really funny.....I asked my brother to be my "man of honor", and my mom scrunched up her nose and said, "that's weird". There's no pleasing mom sometimes!

Honestly if you think your sister is going to be totally devastated then I might find a way to include her just as a nice gesture. But do you really think she cares either way? I wonder on some level if your mom just wishes you and your sister were closer.

I'd stick to your original choice and don't worry about it. Maybe you could ask your sister to be involved another way that would make her feel special, like doing a reading or something.

I would say choose people you want to stand up for you in your wedding very wisely. And by that I mean NOT based on obligation.

My DH chose his older brother because that was the *right thing to do*. It was the only thing we would change about our wedding. Suffice it to say my DH and BIL are not even talking any more. Only 3 months from the wedding.

Hey date twin! I once was in a wedding with 3 MOHs and 9 BMs...so anything can be done! The bride of that wedding actually really liked having that many people because they all split up the tasks well and no one got too overwhelmed (including the bride)! On that note though, the three MOHs were her three best friends and that's who she wanted up there with her.

You SHOULD NOT choose a wedding party based on obligations, other people's feelings, or anything like that! Your mom really shouldn't have siad that, but you can't control what she does. There are many ways to incorporate people into weddings and give them a special role or task without making them a BM or MOH.

I had a similar situation. I have a best friend that I've known my whole life, that I knew I wanted to be my maid of honor. My sister and I were never close, so I wasn't planning to ask her. Cue everyone telling me what a terrible idea that would be! So I decided to just have two MoHs, since there was no way I was leaving out my friend. Guess what? My sister declined! She said she'd prefer to only be a bridesmaid. I put myself through all that worrying for nothing. My point is, do what you feel is best for YOU, and don't take others advice to heart too much. Your sister may be feeling the same way that you are!

The crazy thing is that my sister is already a bridesmaid, so I thought it would be okay. I would never leave her out of the wedding party. I still love her and we get along fine. I know I should probably stick to my decision, but at the same time I'm thinking my sister may be looking at this as her opportunity to be a maid of honor when I don't think she's been one yet. I know if the situation were reversed, I would rather be just a bridesmaid for her since I hate planning and organizing things and being in charge of others. However, my sister's a little more of a planner in some ways.

I wouldn't make the decision based on the "job" of being MOH. IMO, the MOH's duties are the same as the BM's- getting the right outfit and showing up on time, except they also usually hold your bouquet, fluff out your dress during the ceremony, and make a toast. They don't need to organize anything else or be in charge of anybody.

I would just make the decision based on who you want to be standing up there with you, and who you want to honor as the closest or most supportive person in your life. It sounds like you already made that decision, so I would just stick to it!