Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Expert August 2023

Accommodate Officiant?

Elly, on January 22, 2022 at 8:32 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 6

Saved

Flag
Hide content

This one in a little tricky, and I would like to know everyone's thoughts:

My officiant is a friend of mine who is active duty and serves on the other side of the country. Most of our guests will be traveling about 450 miles or so, he will be traveling significantly more. He has never been an officiant before, and my fiancé and I asked him because he is my brother in Christ. He will be be traveling to our wedding with his wife and child (who will be about 5).

My fiancé and I are paying for most (if our families help), if not all of the wedding , and have to budget very, very carefully. Even so, it feels wrong to not offer some sort of accommodation because he will be performing our ceremony.

For the time being I have thought about paying for an Air BnB or hotel room for him and his family for at least a couple of nights. I will be looking at hotel "blocks" in the future, but I wouldn't be able to pay for hotel rooms for my other guests .

What do I do?

Flag
Hide content

6 Comments

Latest activity by Jacks, on January 23, 2022 at 12:03 AM

Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on January 22, 2022 at 8:50 AM
Flag

Hide content
If you were to fly in a normal officiant, you would be responsible for all of their travel expenses. Assuming this friend would have been a guest even if he wasn’t officiating, it seems fair to pay for his accommodations.
- Reply
Master October 2023
Cece · on January 22, 2022 at 10:43 AM
Flag

Hide content
Completely agree with Caytlyn. You would have been responsible for paying a professional officiant a fee for their services, as well as travel and hotel expenses; so it’s completely fair to pay for these expenses for your friend. It’s not required, or expected, for the couple to pay for their guests’ accommodations, so no one will be expecting that from you; and there’s no need for them to know you’ve paid for your officiant friend’s.
- Reply
Super May 2019
KYLIE · on January 22, 2022 at 12:14 PM
Flag

Hide content
I would definitely pay for his hotel room and also give the family a few gift cards for any meals out they’d have to eat.
- Reply
Jm Sunshine · on January 22, 2022 at 1:23 PM
Flag

Hide content
My daughter and her now husband paid to accommodate their active duty officiant. It's not expected for other guests. The officiant, even though a friend/guest, is performing a service as well. (Unfortunately, with the pandemic, there was a military ban on travel so he and many of their active duty friends weren't able to come.)
- Reply
Champion December 2022
Michelle · on January 22, 2022 at 2:23 PM
Flag

Hide content
Typically you cover all travel expenses for vendors. If he was a regular guest and not a vendor, he would be responsible for his own travel and accommodations.
- Reply

Champion November 2054
Jacks · on January 23, 2022 at 12:03 AM
Flag

Hide content
Yep, a vendor would expect to have expenses covered. I think it's the right thing to do.
- Reply