Acceptable to skip bachelor party due to higher than expected cost?

The bachelor party is going to be over $1,200!? Wow. That would be a big no for me. There are a lot of other things I would rather spend that much money on as I am sure you do as well. You speak kindly of them which I deeply respect and I like your idea of taking them out to a nice restaurant instead of going to the party. As you say, I would kindly tell the groom you would love to share in the party with him but even with saving up, you can't afford to go. You would love to take them out for a nice dinner afterward, though, and he can tell you all about it.

I think your suggestion of a nice diner is a great alternative. I'm sure if you explain your situation the groom will understand. 1200 bucks is waaaaay too much to spend on someone else's bachelor party.

Yeah, that's excessive. As a groomsman you should have been included on the outset regarding the budget for the bachelor party. That is insane.

I think that is totally fine to miss due to a financial situation. That’s a huge amount of money to spend on a bachelor party and there’s nothing wrong with having to miss it. I had a couple bridesmaids who were unable to attend my bachelorette party for personal reasons and I understood. I think you offering to take them out for a nice dinner is a wonderful idea and is a very sweet alternative.

Wow that is more than a lot of mortgage payments and insanely expensive. It's pretty rude for people to plan that extravagant of a party without getting buy-in and budgets from all involved. If this happened with my own bridal party where they planned something this expensive and excluded people I would feel embarrassed. I'd talk to the groom and tell him when you told us. I like your idea of taking them out for a nice dinner as an alternative.

That's a lot of money to spend on a bachelor party. Did they consult everyone to see what budgets were? Can you do some activities and not others to save money? My fiance went deep sea fishing for his in San Diego and each person spent around $800 total if they had to fly (4 drove) and that was a lot of money in my opinion.

Planning a bachelor party that's insanely expensive and that not everyone can afford is "a bad look." It is perfectly fine to not attend because of finances. Frankly, I could afford to go, and still wouldn't. I'm not spending (or in my opinion, wasting) that much money on a bachelor party.

This is the kind of thing where the planners should have tried to get everyone's budget limits before planning such an expensive outing. That is a crazy amount of money to spend on a bachelor party.

I would politely decline, if you aren't able to save up for it.

Thanks for everyone's input I really appreciated it. I just want to do the right thing because he's a really good friend and I'm so happy for him and his fiance. I was truly excited to be a part of this with the expectation I had to save around half but was just blindsided by the total cost of this. I was already set on putting money aside early on but also had some surprise expenses (hospital car...) that have cancelled out my efforts. The only transparency about the planning with the group was an email suggesting two different locations (one in state) but no budgetary breakdown. I tried to get a cost back in February and was only provided with that estimated range in May and have yet to get any further breakdown or info other than the house rental. As I mentioned I plan on letting the groom know I would've loved to join and was planning on it but I simply can't afford this type of trip.