Absolutely Desperate for Advice!

Best way to handle this situation is to invite no children at all except for your future stepson.

You can’t invite this child’s sibling and not him. I would keep your stepson as the only child invited.

I agree with PP's. The only way to avoid this is to have your stepson as the only child at the wedding. Definitely can't invite one sibling and not the other.

I'm having a kids-free wedding as well, but I didn't consider anyone 13 or older a kid. (It worked out because we don't know anyone with kids older than the age of 10).

I think that it is 100% fine to have the 14-year old and not the 6-year old.

ALSO, that's your future stepson, so I assume that's your partner's son, which means that no one should be surprised that he's invited.

Stick to your guns. People are going to have opinions no matter what you do, so you might as well do what you want and have your ideal wedding.

Thank you, everyone. That's what I told my fiance from the beginning, so he's just going to have to accept it. Now I don't know if we should tell his sister this before she finds out on our wedding website.

You definitely have to say no kids.

Also, I understand your concern, but to say you don't like a 6 year old seems a little harsh. If he's on the spectrum as you believe, he probably has a lot of issues he needs to work through with a professional. There is a huge difference between having a disability and just being a brat.

View Quoted Comment Agree with this so much. How awful to say that you don’t like your future nephew because of a disability. There’s definitely no way to invite his sister and exclude him.

I would set an age limit, whether no kids except your stepson at all, or no kids under 13, whatever, just decide and stick to it. But I also would NOT mention to your sister why you aren't inviting her children. Say it's for safety because it is a working cattle farm or that you just had to draw a hard line so no one felt excluded. Don't say it is because of the kids behavior, because if he IS ever diagnosed on the spectrum, you're gonna look like the jerk (it's like getting mad at an un-diagnosed dyslexic for struggling to read... you're always going to be cast in a bad light even if your intentions aren't coming from a bad place). It is your wedding, so you can invite who you want with no shame, just be sensitive on how you explain your decision.

We have two problem children in our family and it prompted us to have a kid free wedding so we wouldn't have to choose or upset anyone. We included an insert in the invitations to those going to house holds with kids that said...

"Parents, we want you to be able to fully enjoy the wedding so we are requesting that all kiddos be left at home. thanks so much and we hope that you can celebrate with us on our special day!"

Thankfully everyone respected our wishes.

I totally understand where you are coming from, one of my friends from a previous job has issues but her daughter is older I think 12. She says inappropriate things all the time and stated when we first got engaged when we were visiting my friend, that she (daughter) was going to rip my dress during my wedding. From that point on I was like absolutely not, I will not have her at my wedding just because of this. I still want my friend there but I realize I cannot have it both ways. Her daughter doesn't do well with being separated from her mom. I didn't have to find a solution thankfully because after I sent out STDs my friend told me she won't be able to make because of money (my friend has some health issues) and they are going to be moving so they won't be able to swing coming to the wedding. In a way I'm thankful I don't have to make a decision or figure out what to do. If I were you I would just have your future stepson attend.

Don't invite any children at all except your stepson. This way, you can say it was a childfree wedding without any hard feelings. I would seriously caution you NOT to invite the sister. I'll tell you, if I invited one niece or nephew without the other, it would've been WWIII (rightfully so).