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Just Said Yes May 2023

Aargh Cousins Jealous??

Cin, on April 28, 2023 at 4:08 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 13
I have an older cousin (three years older) who phoned me three days after I got engaged and asked me if I was sure that it wasn’t to early for me to get engaged. Me and my now fiancé have been dating for a year and a half. She has been quite difficult to work with, picks on me with distasteful jokes and even said not so kind things about me to my future fiancé. I needed to vent.

13 Comments

Latest activity by Cin, on April 30, 2023 at 1:01 PM
  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa Online ·
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    Sounds like it's possible that there could be some jealousy from her end. As for her question about whether it's too early for you to get engaged, that's not her decision to make. A year and a half of dating is a common timeframe to get engaged. It looks like your wedding is coming up quick - have you had a conversation with your cousin about how her actions and words have made you feel? Is it possible that there's something in her life that's causing her to act this way? You could also give her the opportunity to step down as a bridesmaid if she doesn't feel like she can be supportive.
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  • C
    Just Said Yes May 2023
    Cin ·
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    Thanks for the support. I think I will stick to focusing on the upcoming big day and my fiancé. It’s not just her that have been acting up, other friends to. I’ll go to the gym, decompress and after the wedding I’ll take some distance. I hate drama. Once I am calmer I’ll have a talk with those involved. I axed a bridesmaid who was causing drama, gossiping and complained about everything. I swear getting married reveals who your true friends are. Sucks when it’s a family member.
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  • Alyssa
    Super October 2023
    Alyssa ·
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    I mean are you under 21? But I'm going to guess she's not engaged/married and just a little jealous.
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  • C
    CM ·
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    In what way has she been difficult to work with? If other friends have been “acting up” too is it possible that some expectations surrounding the wedding have been unreasonable?
    I don’t think we have enough info to say this is strictly about jealousy.

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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    What has she been doing that makes her difficult? Maybe we can help there.

    I'm sorry this is happening!

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  • W
    Dedicated June 2022
    Whitney ·
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    If you're younger than 22, she might be right.

    If you're 25 or older, I think you tell her directly to knock it off.

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  • C
    Just Said Yes May 2023
    Cin ·
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    I’m 31 and she is 34. I would have understood if this was someone who regularly checks up on me.
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  • C
    Just Said Yes May 2023
    Cin ·
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    I’m 31 she’s 34.
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  • C
    Just Said Yes May 2023
    Cin ·
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    Insecurities are normal. But it’s not like I asked her to do much, I don’t post things on social media nor do I rub it in peoples face. I am disturbed that a family member would be do devious as to tell my fiancé that I am to high energy and it’s draining, that I have not given her tasks (which I did), I had to ask her and remind her several time to come help me with the seating plan. She wanted me to have a makeup rehearsal, I did one then she didn’t show up like…Why do people live drabs so much?? As I mentioned I’m focusing on the big day and lashing my fury at the gym. This is a great experience. I now know who I can and cannot count on. Wedding planning is a great experience shows you people’s true colours.
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  • W
    Dedicated June 2022
    Whitney ·
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    In that case, be direct with her about what's upsetting you.

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  • C
    Just Said Yes May 2023
    Cin ·
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    Yes after the wedding for sure.
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  • C
    CM ·
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    I’m confused. How is it draining or off putting NOT to be asked to do tasks? That makes no sense. The seating chart was your job, not something that was appropriate to assign.


    Did she want the makeup trial to be just for you or the entire party? Either way, it was inconsiderate not to show up if she said she would.
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  • C
    Just Said Yes May 2023
    Cin ·
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    Yeah well she is the one who said that she wants to bring a date and told me where to sit her and her date and others etc..so I asked her to help me with it. We only typed it on spreadsheet. I ended up designing the chart. She wanted to be assigned to the task. I’m just more perplexed as to why she would talk to my fiancée about issues she has with me and not with me lol. For instance, she said that I did something to her ten years ago lol and when I asked her, she couldn’t recall! Then I said watch ever I did to you there and then why didn’t you approach me about it then. Obviously you can’t be that mad at me if now you are a bridesmaid. I didn’t force her to take on that role, she had the choice to say no.
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