As I sit here and look at the box i had ready to take to the venue, i can't help but grieve. My wedding is on April 18. I think about the months before this virus came and interrupted our life. Originally i wanted to elope. My family is nuts, so i knew in order to have a stress free wedding, it would be to elope. My fh wanted to have some family members so i agreed on a very small wedding. We invited a total of 40 guest. We found this really nice venue who only allowed 50. We didn't tell anyone our wedding date so i wouldn't hear the whole "am i invited?" question. I would even avoid people at church. Even though it was small, it was stressful for me. A lot of arguments with both our parents, and sometimes with my fh. My sister, who i pretty much raised, kept giving me the maybe she'll come to my wedding, even though she was my MOH. About 3 weeks ago, she dropped out and a few days later she said she couldn't make it. I knew she wouldn't and the virus happened to be her excuse. My brothers gf pretty much told me off for inviting her to my wedding, that woman doesn't like seeing anyone happy. I was very stressed out over my bridal shower being february. February happens to be my most busiest month. I told my fh his mom should've planned it for march.
On tuesday, the wedding coordinator of my church told me, the couple that got married this past weekend only were allowed to have their parents and witnesses only, so she's not sure how my wedding will be. I went for a run after hearing that news and i was just crying. The next day, my venue cancelled on us and is not sure when they are going to be open. I have spent all day today contacting all my vendors and telling them whats happening. I was supposed to have my final fitting April 6, but because of the lock down (i live in CA), my boutique is moving up appts so brides could get their dresses cause their scared the city will shut them down soon. I called for my fh tux, as of right now its a go, but if the gov tells the company to shut down, they will. After i was done calling everyone, i cried. I can't believe all this is happening. My mom even told me that all this stress was for nothing. Honesty, it makes me feel bad for even feeling this way cause this is exactly what i wanted. But since i was all hyped up to do this, i was excited. People are telling me to hold the reception another day, but i can't go through this stress again of who to invite and who not to. It took a lot out of me.
I am staying optimistic by thinking about marrying my best friend. My fh and i don't live together, and are waiting to move in after the wedding. I am just so excited to finally move in with him. We are getting the keys to our new place soon. Our parents are going to be meeting so we can have a small bbq in the backyard. I find it a big blessing that they are doing all this. My venue is giving us our deposit back which helps us out a lot. I told my fh that we should buy the cake from there to support them at this time. But a lot is happening so fast and i am taking it day by day.
So enjoy your day. Don't stress over anything cause you never know what might happen. I realize all this stress was really for nothing. I just wanted to vent and let my feelings out or i will go nuts lol. Thank you so much for reading this long post. I feel like i need to tell some brides that in the end, its just you two and no one else.
