a little irritated with fh

Try not to let it get to you. Maybe talk to him over the weekend. My husband was horrible during planning. Anything I asked he said “whatever you want” because I don’t think he wanted to do anything. It was so frustrating at times. Good news....I got everything I wanted. 😊

I don’t think think guys know all that goes into wedding planning.

I think Colleen is right, men don't really get what it takes to plan a wedding. I know for sure my fiancee doesn't. He has complained i'm only focused on wedding planning, I had to point out that no one is helping me, no one, not even him so of course it's my focus

Fh is the same he pretty much just says stay within budget otherwise he dont care. then he dont wanna give up the card to pay for stuffs. i think its just a guy thing

Maybe try to do baby steps and be really concrete.
I showed him my wedding checklist, and then I told hubby the 4 things that needed to be tackled that month. He could then pick the two he'd be okay taking lead on. He really stepped up in those aspects. It became a fun competition of who completed what first.
Similar to decor. Most guys really aren't concerned with decor. Even my husband (an artist) only started caring when I showed him 2-3 really different options... I'm jusy lucky had a (strong) preference after that.

I would be irritated too! My FH doesn't really know the work that goes into wedding planning either!

Men def don't know what goes into wedding planning. There's all these logistics and details. Maybe catch him some other time and give yourself a little break too

He may actually think that your dress is the only big thing to plan for a wedding. Unless he’s normally a jerk, which I assume he’s not since you’re marrying him, cut him some slack and talk to him again tomorrow. If you have a wedding planner or a list that shows what needs to be done, show that to him so he can see all the work needed to be done. It sounds like you have a lot going on aside from wedding planing, so just get some rest and know that everything will work out just fine!

I think he was tired and made a badly delivered joke. Try to get some rest and have a good talk.

Well I say he doesn't know what it takes to plan a wedding. So yes show him a list. Funny i'm not sure which is worse the FH's who aren't involved or mine who is overly involved.

I have found it easier to come up with options for FH to choose from. The reality is, most guys just don't care what it looks like or about any of the planning, its just not how they are wired. If you go in with options that you like it gives him a better understanding of what you are asking for help with (since you know, weddings are not something that have been shoved in their faces since birth like girls) and you avoid potential suggestions that you hate, which, if you vocalize your distaste for his suggestions he may just retract from the whole thing and start responding with "whatever you want, its your wedding".

When I asked my FH if he had any preferences when it came to the dress he said “I don’t know, white and Weddingy?” He’s not usually super into pomp and circumstance, and I’m not usually this girly, so he doesn’t really know how to react or respond. His focus is usually somewhere else, and if he’s starting a business that might be where his brain is, and guys can sometimes have a harder time multitasking than women. It was most likely an off handed joke made out of a lack of understanding for how hard it is to plan a wedding.

My ex husband wasn't very interested in planning. We ended up eloping. My FH on the other hand is totally involoved. Right now I'm doing a lot of the leg work to narrow down venue options. Then him and I will go over them and we will eliminate the ones he doesn't like. I wouldn't worry too much.

My FH was the same in the beginning. Once I showed him our checklist of things to get done, he started to realize how much was still left to do. Since then he has been much more helpful. Just yesterday I told him that I was stressed with all the little stuff we needed to figure out for the reception, so he asked if he could see the list I made so he could see what he could do. I think it might help to see if he was interested in completing a few smaller tasks then work your way up. Good luck!

Maybe just find a few subjects he’s interested in like the music or his suit or what his groomsmen are wearing. He doesn’t have to have an opinion on everything.

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I am hoping that is all it is

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I want him to select what he wears and the groomsmen wear. With music I know his style. He has helped decide on the colors.

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Sometimes they literally cant form an opinion on things. The other day i asked which cake topper he preferred....he looked at me blankly and then joked. Just remember that if he doesn't have an opinion, you get to choose what you want!

Find someone that wants to discuss options, like your mom or a friend. Or people on this site!

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Hahahaha!!! This is pretty much where I'm at. FH only cares/give input about the music. Everything else he says "whatever you want babe" because this is my first wedding, and he's already had a couple (one Catholic, one courthouse), so he really wants me to get the wedding I've always dreamed of having. On the one hand, it's been a little stressful making all these decisions on my own.

But on the other hand, I feel a little spoiled, because I'm getting everything I want!! Not used to that at all! lol

View Quoted Comment It’s hard because it leaves everything on you but you get what you want. 😊