Amy
Beginner May 2022

a little help?

Amy, on April 7, 2021 at 12:27 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 10
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So... I’m having an issue with one of my friends for the wedding.


Pre-covid times (feels like ages ago) when my FH and I knew we wanted to get married we set the date for November 2020. That one obviously got postponed, and decided to try for May 2021. Since we’re still figuring out logistics and regulations for relatives that come from abroad we changed the date one last time to May 2022 to be sure.


Our guest list includes some relatives that are considered high-risk so we want to give a safe place to our loved ones to enjoy that moment with us. We’re all vaccinated and those guests coming from abroad would also be since it’s regulation for international travel.


Now, my friend has different views on the matter. She’s completely against vaccines. I respect her beliefs, but I don’t share them. My FH is also high-risk and for him is extremely important to protect everyone’s health.


We have been thinking in taking different measures like having rapid testing at the entrance or asking for a negative test results before the wedding but we’re not sure.


What would you do? I’d love my friend to be there but I don’t want to put others at risk when we have lost so many people already.

10 Comments

Latest activity by Ivory, on April 11, 2021 at 5:55 PM
  • Kk
    Devoted October 2021
    Kk ·
    • Flag
    Honestly I would wait until December/January to even think about this. May 2022 is a longggg time from now and we have no idea what things are going to be like then.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag

    I would put fiance's health as a priority. Even though alot can happen between now and then, I would not feel comfortable with someone knowingly exposing who knows what to a high risk population.

    • Reply
  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
    • Flag
    Since you have a year until your wedding, I would wait it out a little bit. Things with COVID could look completely different by the time your wedding arrives, and this might end up not even being an issue.
    • Reply
  • Allie
    Super November 2021
    Allie ·
    • Flag

    I agree with waiting it out a bit. Things might change, her views honestly might change. Yours could too, who knows. However, if the time comes and you still feel that everyone should be vaccinated or at least test negative before coming and she is not vaccinated, then I would ask her to get tested, but that expense should come from you as you are requiring it (if she has to pay for a covid test).

    • Reply
  • Ava
    VIP May 2022
    Ava ·
    • Flag
    I would also wait a bit before making a decision (or telling anyone about it) since your wedding is still a whole year away. Once the time comes closer, you and FH should decide on what is best/safest/most comfortable for the two of you, and FH’s health. Personally, I would always cater to those whose health depends on it, and wouldn’t worry about what others thought. Also, your friend’s opposition to vaccines should in no way affect her ability to have a simple test done to ensure she is virus free.
    • Reply
  • Catherine
    Expert March 2023
    Catherine ·
    • Flag
    I would definitely wait a little bit since COVID could definitely change a lot between now and then. But I have a few autoimmune diseases and would put my and my family’s health above my friends any day. That doesn’t mean my friends aren’t important to me, but my and my family’s health is the most important.
    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2021
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    I think Ava is completely right! When the time comes, a simple test should be something your friend really shouldn't have a problem with.

    • Reply
  • Virginia
    Savvy April 2022
    Virginia ·
    • Flag
    We are getting married next April 2022 and not intending to put any Covid practices in place other than hand sanitizer since we’re getting married in FL where the numbers are drastically decreasing. My FH has been vaccinated but I refuse until the trials are complete in 2023 and the FDA gives approval for full biological use. Both my father and step dad are high risk but they do not seem to have concerns at this time given the date is a year away and numbers are moving in a positive direction. I’m not sure where your venue location is in regards to covid cases but I’d wait before making any major decisions in my opinion. Best of luck to you guys!
    • Reply
  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
    • Flag
    I don't think anyone should feel pressured to get the vaccine to attend an event. I have many very high risk family members, and I'm glad they have the vaccine. Also I am VERY pro vaccine. However, my doctor advised me to wait to get it, so I won't be getting it. We do have to acknowledge that this is a novel vaccine and that taking it is a real health risk that many do not want to take. It's up to everyone to make their own decisions and assess their own risk levels and risk tolerance. If you and FH are uncomfortable with being near unvaccinated people next year, I would sincerely suggest eloping or having a very small wedding with just immediate family. I also think asking people to get a test (at your expense) is a good solution. I would not ask your friend to get the vaccine or bar her from coming if she doesnt--in my opinion, thats a friendship ender.
    • Reply
  • Ivory
    Dedicated August 2024
    Ivory ·
    • Flag

    Definitely agree with Michelle's response. Your fiance's health is the most important thing. The good news though. is that by May 2022, hopefully, covid rates will be MUCH lower and most of the country will be vaccinated.

    It's frustrating but you can't reliably plan anything right now, you've just got to wait and see. Whatever you do though, as long as you prioritize your fiance and loved ones' safety, you're doing the right thing!

    • Reply

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