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Monica
Super October 2021

a little annoyed with my family

Monica, on April 6, 2020 at 12:15 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 19
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So I never expect my wedding to be a priority in other ppls lives and I know theres a lot going on in the world but it would be nice if a little bit of interest was shown sheesh.


My wedding was supposed this past Saturday and I finally got and confirmed the new date for the wedding. I only told my wedding party and my immediate family at first (my parents and sister and 1 aunty who lives in the same city as me). I already had my new invitation ready to go (im sending e-invites) so I decided to invite all of my out of state family. I texted about 8ppl on Saturday and at first no one texted me back, but then 1 aunty finally responded but thats still 1 out of 8. I texted them on Saturday and still no response. It WOULD have been nice if they were to send kind words like hey sorry today would have been your wedding day but keep ur head up or something.


I know ppl have their own lives and they get busy but At the bare minimum I would like at least an acknowledgment that they received my text. And these are not just older ppl like my Aunty and Uncles these are also my young cousins who are my age and slightly younger (age 23-30) who are freaking posting on instagram but have no decency to respond to a text message!


This is the same side of my family (probably about 15ppl in total my Indian side of the family is actually pretty small) who didnt bother to rsvp or at least tell me they weren’t coming (this was back when my rsvps were due before state shutdowns started happening and before things escalated). When I asked my aunty she said hmm she doesn’t know how things are going to go, things are still up in the air. And I completely understand that but all i wanted was a yes or no. Like you live Out Of State. You either will plan to buy a plane ticket or ur not. Of course I didn’t say that at the time but I told her to let me know what her final decision was because we will need a guestcount. Her response was “ah for the sake of the guestcount”. Yess I believe that is the EXACT point of the RSVP is to know whos coming and get a guestcount, its a freaking wedding hellooo.
And my closest cousin who told me she had received my wedding invitation but didn’t open if for a whole month. The same cousin who is constantly on instagram (more than my other cousins) Who had the nerve to ask me if she could be our DJ because shes working on her DJ skills (she was never a dj before) but when I previously asked her to simply put together a playlists for my January bridal shower with Indian songs she left me in the dust.

Im just venting is all. My family is so small on my Indian side you would think they would care or show any interest. Im the first niece to get married. I will barely have any family at my wedding compared to FH. My moms side of the family is huge but none of them will travel. Its just really annoying, many ppl are attached to their phones and cant simply return a text message.

19 Comments

Latest activity by Monica, on April 16, 2020 at 1:17 PM
  • Neeva
    Rockstar September 2020
    Neeva ·
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    You are valid in your feelings, especially because we understand how hard this decision was to postpone a wedding and other people have no idea.

    Not responding to a text message or RSVP is rude but that's why we can't pick your family! People are busy at this time with the pandemic so I would just let it ride.

    Honestly, I got frustrated with certain family members not RSVPing that I made my parents take charge of them and I only texted my friends and bridal party that we are postponing.


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  • Monica
    Super October 2021
    Monica ·
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    Yes thank you. I dont expect them to RSVP right now I also sent a little message with the invitation saying I would follow up with them in September to rsvp or they could text me/use our website. Im just most upset because yes having to postpone/cancel a wedding is a big deal but most of all because I never look at an initial text message from anyone and just ignore it and especially not if its an invitation. and especially it was sent on the actual day the wedding was supposed to be lol

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  • thisismrsb
    Expert June 2019
    thisismrsb ·
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    Your feelings are totally valid. People should respond to text messages, but not all do it in a timely manner. However, you basically invited people to a wedding in a text message. I'm sure that you have previously sent out formal invitations, but I have never heard of sending out wedding invitations or save the dates in text messages. I do not know of a single person who would do that. Is it possible that they feel uncomfortable or offended that the new invitation was sent in a text?
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  • Monica
    Super October 2021
    Monica ·
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    Honestly no. I dont know anyone who would honestly say “how rude she invited me through a text message” and if this is seriously my family’s thought process then thats their loss, because it’s seriously not that big of a deal and given the circumstances my family should be okay with that. I have sent e-invites for other events before. My last invitations for the wedding were beautiful they took time, and extra money (over $40 just on postage) and quite simply put I am just not going to do it again. I wont. Its not worth the stress or the money. Postponing has emotionally exhausted me. Im only sending out real paper invites to a few elderly people.

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  • Monica
    Super October 2021
    Monica ·
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    Here is my invitation. I sent invitation along with a short message a little annoyed with my family 1

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  • thisismrsb
    Expert June 2019
    thisismrsb ·
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    That's beautiful! Hopefully it works out. With the new date, they have more time to respond.
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  • Samantha
    Rockstar October 2020
    Samantha ·
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    I'm so sorry. I understand that there's a lot going on and we're all stressed, but I do think that at the very least, your invitation should be acknowledged. Your feelings are totally valid and I would feel the same way you're feeling. Just try to continue to be understanding. I know I haven't been as good at keeping up on text messages in recent weeks and maybe turn to your FS for support. Even if it ends up just being the two of you, it will still be a beautiful day full of love.

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  • Monica
    Super October 2021
    Monica ·
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    Thank you I like the invites a lot even though I loved my first invites more lol. I would put them in the envelope and then take them out as if i was seeing them for the first time like ah so pretty😂 lol. Yes I don’t expect them to rsvp anytime soon just was hoping for a little acknowledgement.
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  • Monica
    Super October 2021
    Monica ·
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    Thank you! I agree I guess it just stung a little since we havent announced it to many ppl yet I just chose my small group of out of state family first and it didn’t go as expected. Thanks for the kind words.
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  • Samantha
    Rockstar October 2020
    Samantha ·
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    I totally understand and your reaction is perfectly reasonable. Have you considered calling and following up with a couple of them? Maybe even explaining that you were hurt that they didn't respond. You're in no way obligated to, but it might be cathartic.

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  • Monica
    Super October 2021
    Monica ·
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    I think by next week I will. Probably a hey how are u and happy easter and by the way did you get my text with the invite?
    Maybe only for my aunty/uncles. My younger cousins no. They are just rude. Ik they received it. They clearly posted multiple times on instagram I know they have checked their phones
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  • Samantha
    Rockstar October 2020
    Samantha ·
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    That's a great idea.

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  • Ingrid
    VIP October 2020
    Ingrid ·
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    I understand your frustration, I've been dealing with the exact thing for over 3 years. I think its absolutely rude for people to not respond to a message especially concerning something that costs based per person. I don't understand the complete lack of regard and consideration. But, if the shoe was on the other food those same people would feel some type of way.
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  • Monica
    Super October 2021
    Monica ·
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    I agree. Sorry you are going through it too.
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  • Monica
    Super October 2021
    Monica ·
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    So I decided to leave it alone even though im internally still annoyed. Its been a whole week and still no one has responded besides 1 person that previously texted me. I simply said Happy Easter and thats it. Ive made up my mind that idc if they come. I would love to have my family there but im not going to stress over people who have no interest in me.


    I complained to my sister (half-sister) about it last week and she asked me a question that made me say Wow. My sister asked me “well how did they respond to your invitation the first time”. For some reason this was an eye opener even tho I already Knew they didn’t respond to my first invitations, they didn’t rsvp but my sister saying that to me was kind of like a DUH same behavior so what do u expect. My sister told me dont worry about it “those that love u will make an effort to be there and thats all that matters”.
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  • Alejandra
    Super March 2019
    Alejandra ·
    • Flag

    Hi Monica,

    Prior to your sending these text message on the Saturday that your wedding was supposed to be, did you let your guests know that the wedding would be postponed, I missed that bit of information. I am just wondering if your guests were notified of a date change before you texted them on the day you were supposed to get married originally?

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  • Monica
    Super October 2021
    Monica ·
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    Our wedding was supposed to be on April 4th. I personally reached out to my side of the family on March 21st, 2weeks before our original date. At the time the shelter in place prevented me from immediately having a new date. I told them the wedding is cancelled and I have no clue what the new date will be but will let them know as soon as I find out. I had to wait and even though my church wasn’t supposed to get beck to me by April 6th they were able to give me an answer for a new date early. I finally received the new date on April 3rd.
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  • Quanay
    Just Said Yes April 2020
    Quanay ·
    • Flag
    Girl don't feel bad I just blocked my whole family... at this point in life I can't force people to deal with me... go on be happy and get married its they lost
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  • Monica
    Super October 2021
    Monica ·
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    Definitely their loss we cant force anyone to be there for us.
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