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Dedicated January 2021

a large amount of people cancelling because of covid

Kimberly, on November 22, 2020 at 11:45 AM Posted in Planning 0 33
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Okay not that large. About 6 people have already said they aren't coming. Unfortunately, four of them are important to us and we hoped they'd be there. They are citing covid as the reason. Are you getting married soon and if yes are you seeing this and how are you handling it?

33 Comments

Latest activity by Kimberly, on December 27, 2020 at 9:24 AM
  • Eri
    Super October 2020
    Eri ·
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    Declines due to COVID will continue to be common for a while, especially in the next couple of months with anticipated spikes from holiday gatherings. I would not go to a January wedding unless it was a small gathering for someone very close to me and there would be precautions in place.

    I got married 10/10. We downsized from 130 guests to 35-ish and informed everyone of our plans and precautions. Out of this smaller group, 3 declined due to not feeling comfortable, and 1 in particular is a very special person to my DH. We were sad that she couldn't be there, but not mad or offended in any way.

    We also had one person not show at the last minute, since he had a cold; we told people if they weren't feeling well to stay home, so this didn't bother us either - we were glad he took the precaution!

    All you can do is accept their decline with grace and understanding, and adjust your numbers accordingly.

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  • A
    Super September 2020
    Alli ·
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    One should definitely expect this to happen... it sucks and you might lose money each time someone cancels closer to the date. And some loved ones might not show up... we aren’t attending any weddings right now. Our hospital system is refusing patients in the ER due to over capacity. I think the most important thing is to marry the love of your life! So as long as he shows up, you’re in business!
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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    I think this is common with COVID. One of the reasons we chose to postpone is that one of my best friends/bridesmaids would have been unable to attend due to COVID (she would have had to travel quite a distance to attend). It certainly wasn't the main reason we postponed, but it was a factor, since I couldn't imagine my wedding without her there. It's super unfortunate, but only you can decide if those people physically attending is more important to you than keeping your date. Are those people able to attend virtually? You could send them favors and dessert ahead of time to be enjoyed on the day of your wedding, have them on video chat so they can see the ceremony, and you could also ask them to give a speech virtually during the reception. Otherwise, if you really want them at the event in person, is postponing an option?
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  • Chrysta
    Rockstar November 2022
    Chrysta ·
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    My cousin is supposed to get married the same day as you! Unfortunately, she has been getting a lot of people who have said that, as of now, they don’t intend to attend because of virus numbers spiking again... but they are waiting until the last minute to RSVP. She’s super stressed because she can’t plan things and she’s afraid that even the people who RSVP’ed yes are going to change their minds the week of the wedding or not show up that day. They are contemplating rescheduling or just doing something small now & then doing a large celebration at a later date.
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  • K
    Dedicated January 2021
    Kimberly ·
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    You are so right, as long and he and I and our parents are there. I am not postponing due to my father's illness. We aren't sure how long he has and I already have nightmares about him not making it (sorry to be a downer) just want to express why postponing was not an option for us
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  • K
    Dedicated January 2021
    Kimberly ·
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    Definitely understand and I don't ask anyone twice. If they say no, I move on. Just feel a dissapointment when I hear it despite it being completely reasonable
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  • K
    Dedicated January 2021
    Kimberly ·
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    Hi, my mom passed away and my dad has stage 4 cancer so we aren't sure how long he has (he has covid antibodies btw) after much reflection I want one parent with me that day and he is super excited!. So unfortunately I cannot postpone
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  • K
    Dedicated January 2021
    Kimberly ·
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    I don't know if this is the right approach but I gave a deadline to rsvp and if they didn't respond I'm not counting on them. I find it less stressful than waiting and paying for an empty seat. The money part is definitely stressful bht luckily we only have paid half and the venue said the rest can be paid based on final count so we are super lucky in that regard.
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  • K
    Dedicated January 2021
    Kimberly ·
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    How was your wedding on 10/10 by the way?? Do you wanna share more?
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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    I'm sorry to hear about all that!! I totally understand why postponing isn't an option. I would maybe consider offering a virtual option for those who aren't comfortable attending in person. I know it's disappointing to not have them there, and I'm sure they feel disappointed as well that they aren't able to be there, but if they can watch through video chat, that may help with some of those feelings. Especially if you are able to send them favors and/or dessert ahead of time for them to enjoy on the day during the video chat. Your wedding day will be beautiful regardless!
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  • K
    Dedicated January 2021
    Kimberly ·
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    These are all wonderful ideas!! I think we can definitely ask the photographer to set up a tripod with a phone broadcasting via zoom. As we talk about it, I feel excitement overcoming any dissapointment. Thank you!
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  • Eri
    Super October 2020
    Eri ·
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    You're definitely allowed to feel disappointed! I know DH was bummed, and it's totally normal to have that reaction. But he made sure to tell her he completely understood, and there's no ill will or anything.

    Our wedding was lovely! We had a ceremony, followed by cocktail hour and dinner - no dancing or a traditional reception/party vibe. All of our guests seemed to have a really nice time, even with masks and social distancing and all that, and we got a ton of compliments. Fortunately, no one got sick, but I was incredibly stressed about that the day of and for weeks after.

    I'm so sorry to hear about your father. Postponing isn't an option for everyone, and wasn't a very viable one for us either, but we still had a beautiful day. I hope you're able to share the day with him. Smiley heart

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  • K
    Dedicated January 2021
    Kimberly ·
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    Thank you so much! Your wedding day sounds beautiful! I'm glad to hear everyone was safe and healthy
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  • A
    Super September 2020
    Alli ·
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    I can sympathize with you 100%. The oncologist told us my MIL would not make it to our May (international - country was closed) wedding, so we did an intimate 20 guest dream (domestic destination) wedding in Sept and she made it 🤍 We could not postpone it out any further and we are so happy we went through with it! I truly hope your father makes it. 🤍
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  • K
    Dedicated January 2021
    Kimberly ·
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    Thank you for sharing!! Doctors are human and they can only estimate, I believe my dad's spirit is very strong and am really looking forward to this day. I'm so glad your MIL made it and you were able to share this experience with her.
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  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    I didnt want to take risk of this. Only invited 3 guests. If any of them feel ill then they'll have to zoom in.
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  • K
    Dedicated January 2021
    Kimberly ·
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    Hi, what was your original guestlist? Were you able to get your money back?
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  • Michelle
    Rockstar April 2021
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    It’s going & will continue for months until the vaccine is given out. Even then some will decline to come to events. There is absolutely nothing you can do about, it is what it is.
    • Reply
  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    Original guest list was 30 people b4 covid. Yes, I was able to receive my full deposit back.
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  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    No one declined our minimony due to Covid last month all 35guests came. However if we can have our large wedding in March I expect that some people will decline
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