a Guest Asking for Another Plus One

Why does she want to bring her? Does she want her there to help with the child?

View Quoted Comment Great question, her kids are teenagers. She really invited Grandma J because her baby daddy gets sloppy drunk and so she wants her to look after her son.

I'm going to put this as nicely as I can lol. Her reason for having the grandmother there as a plus one is a little....ridiculous? A grown man needs his mother to be present at a wedding to make sure he doesn't get too drunk??

My vote is no. I'm sorry but the grandmother IS the plus one. Plus ones don't get plus ones lol.

View Quoted Comment I would explain that you’re unable to accommodate plus ones. Once you open up those can of worms too more people will also ask and keep putting you in a tight place Your wedding should be a place to celebrate and be surrounded by loved ones. I would speak with your fiancé and explain how you feel too. During wedding planning, there will be times where you will have to say no to others or others may get upset with a decision you and your fiancé chooses. Just remember this day is about celebrating your love and this next chapter with loved ones.

Okay, so FSIL is going to be there, so is her BD... but you've also given the couple a plus one so his mom could come "watch him"? I might be alone in this, but I'd say what you're technically doing is inviting one couple and then half of another couple, which is a WW no no. If you have the funds to add one person, why not just add Grandma J and her husband as guests instead of a plus two? Normally couples as a unit don't get a plus one and you're already doing that, which is odd.

A plus one doesn’t get a plus one, especially if you don’t know them. It’s fine not to invite the husband

View Quoted Comment

What I'm taking from this is that FSIL and BD are not together, therefore they each get their own plus ones. GJ is FSIL's plus one, but FSIL wants ANOTHER plus one so that GJ's husband can come. In this case, I don't agree that FSIL gets another plus one just for GJ's husband to come. FSIL made the decision to invite GJ as her plus one, the couple didn't invite GJ themselves.

View Quoted Comment We never invited Grandma J because she’s my sister in law’s plus one. Me and my partner don’t even know who Grandma J and her husband. Haha.


But I can see what you mean by not expending a invitation to her husband.

Isn't the baby daddy your SiL's plus one? Or does the baby daddy get his own separate invite? So Grandma J is technically a second plus one? Making her husband a third plus one?


This is ridic. I'd say no

I would say NO! That's crazy! A plus one can't get a plus one! Put your foot down and say NOPE!

View Quoted Comment The sister in law got a plus one. And her baby daddy didn’t get a plus one because he’s considered as a family friend.


We only gave a plus one invite to our bridal party and close family and friends in long term relationships.

I admire that you are concerned about the feelings of others, especially those in your soon-to-be family. Bottom line is that the "plus ones" start adding up and it is not fair to you to eat that cost. Do not be afraid to say no. It sounds like that extra person really does not need to be there.

You can say due to covid we are having to turn away any extra plus ones

View Quoted Comment I absolutely agree with this. The fact that she wants the grandmother there because of the baby daddy is a sloppy drunk. Sounds like he needs to get his head on straight. He goes out with his kids he is the father and should be acting like one, not another child for baby momma to have to deal with along side her kids. And no I'm not saying parents can't have fun. With that being said I'd tell her no to both plus ones, I'd tell her to get her man under control.

No. i had this happen to me before. my groomsman was invited with his spouse. they wanted a plus one -.- they don't have children, FYI. it was literally just a plus one to invite their friend. like no friggin reason. and mind you, it was a friend i didn't even know. so i said no.

Put your foot down and set boundaries. People will walk all over you if you don’t and your wedding is not the local family reunion/state fair for people you don’t know and don’t want in attendance. Guests do not get to ask for plus ones beyond what they are allowed on the invite. Also your future sister-in-law is a guest, not a plus one. A plus one is a random stranger given to a truly single unattached guest.