a good problem to have

I might be reading this wrong, but what was your guest giving you money for? As a gift? Because typically If someone gives you a gift even if they can’t attend they don’t get the gift back. Was it for something else?

View Quoted Comment It was for a gift! I also might be over thinking it

View Quoted Comment I think if it was a gift you definitely don’t have to ask if she wants it back. People give gifts for weddings they don’t attend alllll the time!

That's nice of you to think about that! If it's weighing on ya'lls hearts that much, then it doesn't hurt to offer! Most guests will decline it though because it is their gift to you both, but it's still sweet to ask.

View Quoted Comment If I was in your friends situation I wouldn’t expect the gift back. I would actually really want you guys to have the gift as a congratulations to your wedding even though I wouldn’t be able to make it. But that’s just me. I think etiquette says that it’s best to keep it. I think only in a situation if the bride and groom cancel the wedding or something would be when you return the gifts. Hope this helps bride!

Very kind of you Rita. If it were me, I would accept the wedding gift and write a thoughtful thank you card. We received generous gifts from many guests who could not attend and were deeply touched ❤️

People give gifts in celebration of your marriage and not solely because they’re attending the wedding. In other words, a gift isn’t an entry ticket to an event. It’s more so an expression of joy for the two of you and your new union. So, asking to give the money back doesn’t seem necessary since she’s your good friend and that’s the gift she desired to give.

View Quoted Comment Totally agree with this.

View Quoted Comment

I agree with Shelly on this!

I agree with others, no need to ask her if she wants it back.

People give gifts all the time because they want to share in your joy. That is why they ask where you are registered. Doesn't matter if they don't attend. Accept the gift and write a prompt thank you.

I dont think you need to ask her. It’s a gift she gave regardless

No, that was a wedding gift for you and your fiancé. You don't have to attend a wedding in order to give a gift. If she wanted the money back, she would ask (even though that would be incredibly rude). Just make sure you send her a thank you card!