a feeling of regret

What do you mean by not wanting to cooperate? Are you planning your own shower or did they offer to plan on for you?

Who you have stand by your side shouldn't be based on the events they throw or participate in, but who you couldn't imagine saying "I do" without.

I don't really care if my bridal party is super stoked about pre-wedding events. They're still my nearest and dearest friends and I couldn't imagine my wedding without them.

Hi Super! I paid for the venue and that is all I paid for as far as my shower. When it came time for them to do their part it was a bunch of confusion. These are the actual ladies that I couldn't imagine not being by my side on my special day, but this just showed me that most of them just wanted to be in it just to be in it without contributing anything. I've always been there for them at special occasions, but I guess it's different. All of them are family

Caytlyn it's not really about the event it's more about support for me. I support them in everything they do, but I feel a little short changed when it comes to me. Keep in mind that these are the ladies that I want by my side on my special day not just anyone I just said " Ok yeah you can be one of my bridesmaids!" These are actual people that are family.

Your BM's have no responsibility or obligation to pay for or plan your bridal shower or bachelorette party. If they offer, great. You should not be involved in these parties. You pick BM's because they're your nearest and dearest, not because they do stuff for you.

Ladies ya'll seem to not understand that I'm basically the only one that is spending money that I don't have to for them. I've brought all this stuff for them and get nothing, but attitude back. So basically I should just have my wedding and not do anything to celebrate it on the way up to the date??

As well they've all asked me what I wanted to do for my bachelorette party and how I wanted my bridal shower, but I'm still the one paying for everything and doing.

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You shouldn't spend money on pre-wedding events since you're not supposed to be hosting said events.

You can have a girls get together to celebrate, if you like.

Not regret exactly. I love my MOH and my bridesmaid, it's just hard that i'm not getting any help. I have to make all my centerpieces alone, my card box, all of that. No parties of any kind in my honor. My first marriage I planned and paid for my own shower. I don't have the time, the funds or the desire to do that again. I wasn't expecting a shower since it's my second marriage, but I was hoping for at least a lunch or something...and some help making stuff. I couldn't even get a ride to my first fitting. I don't drive, and I nearly had to walk home 7 miles, literally in pouring rain before my nephew stepped up.

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Yes. If no one offers to throw you a shower you don't have one. Sounds like your forcing something on your BMs and they feel some kinda way about it.

LB I'm not forcing anything on them. They have asked me time and time again what I wanted for both events and I told them what I would like. That's one thing about me I'm not about to force anyone to do anything I'm not that type of person!!!!

Thank you Laura! You understand what I'm trying to explain!! I wasn't expecting one to be honest, but they all texted and called me to see what I wanted and I told them what I wanted. Now that it's time to get everything done it's an issue. I would have been fine without one, but they wanted to throw these parties for me I didn't want to throw them. The only ones that have helped out was My Matron, 2 of my bridesmaids and my Maid of honor. So I'm truly thankful for them!!!!

Mrs. Jackson I've even offered to do like a small dinner or brunch with them, but it's always an issue. Don't get me wrong I know people have lives, but no time is ever good for anyone of them, but as long as I'm spending money it's ok

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Then cancel any money you've spent on these events and just focus on wedding planning. I know with my bridesmaids two of them popped up pregnant and the other one I didn't expect to do anything anyway. So I've just let it go. They'll help me on the day and that's all that matters in the end.

W-K I understand what your saying & I hope that they actually show on the day of the wedding that they will be there. It wasn't really about these two events just the fact that I don't truly know if they really want to be in the wedding?

Unfortunately, all you can do at this point is to see whether they show up in the correct dress for the wedding. If they do, they are bridesmaids. If they show up, but don't have the dress, they are guests. If some don't show up at all, then you have an uneven bridal party, which is not a disaster.

Thank you 2nd bride! I appreciate the comment. That’s just how I feeling right now 😒

Hi, I understand what you are saying. They have offered to throw you a party, a party you very nicely paid for all they have to do is PLAN especially since they WANTED TO THROW IT.. but now that it is time to plan it is like no one wants to be involved. For your bachelorette no do not pay for anything, they should be hosting you and some may think I am rude but if the shoe was on the other foot I am sure you would be hosting them. I know these are our weddings and our life and its about having these people stand beside you, but come on im sorry if a bride not even a bride... if a friend needs help I am helping! you need help choosing something, making something, an apt I am there! I am sorry you are feeling down and experiencing this negativity

Im a bride who does not agree with the saying "bridesmaids just need to buy the dress and show up" if they were asking you what you wanted for the shower or bachelorette party and now you are being stuck with the bill that isnt right. Do you have a mother or family member who could throw the shower for you?maybe explain the situation and state you dont think the bridesmaids will fall through. Personally my mom is throwing my bridal shower.
So sorry you are feeling this way. Im sure its a very disappointing feeling. My wedding isnt untill next year but id feel the same way if my bridesmaids didnt follow through with things or werent helpful

View Quoted Comment Thank you! That’s all I’m saying & most of the other women on my post are making me feel like I’m saying they have to do it. All I’m saying is don’t offer and you’re not going to do it is all. My mother is so helpful with my shower as my aunt, matron & maid. If it wasn’t for them I don’t know what I’d do!