Jessie
Savvy June 2020

a Bride With No Parents

Jessie, on October 19, 2019 at 11:44 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 9
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Looking for a place to vent rn. My parents passed when I was 11 of cancer. I've always dreaded getting married because I just want my parents with me. But I love my fiance and wedding planning has been so much fun with him. But whenever someone asks about the wedding, they ask "who's going to walk you down the aisle?" Which I think is rude. And when I say "myself", they act like it's so wrong. I've even had people ask who did my FH ask for permission before proposing (does anyone do that anymore?).
Has anyone else experienced insensitivity like this? Not trying to whine, but just need to let some of my frustration out.

9 Comments

  • E
    Devoted November 2019
    Emily ·
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    I am so sorry you are going through this. I know they are not fun questions as I am getting these questions too. My dad passed away 3 years ago and people have been asking me. I just reply and say my brother will be. I had an uncle offer to walk me down. You can have anyone walk you down if you want or nobody. As someone who is being asked these questions also, I don’t think these people are thinking before the speak or are just curious and don’t know who to ask. Obviously they should not be asking these things but sadly some people don’t have a filter !
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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Champion March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    Ugh. That sounds like a knife to the gut. 😔 So sorry you have to deal with that. Maybe cuz I was a mid-40’s bride but nobody asked me any of those questions. At that age, I definitely didn’t need anyone to “give me away” (a tradition I don’t like anyway). My hubby & I walked together. It was sweet, comforting & we got more pics together. Do whatever your heart wishes... walk alone, together, meet half-way.
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  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
    • Flag

    I'm so sorry you lost your parents at such a young age.... However, I'm very happy to hear your fiance is making the wedding planning fun for you. I'm also sorry people say rude things. I'd guess they don't mean to be rude (probably doesn't help in the heat of the moment, but perhaps try to remind yourself they may be socially awkward, but probably aren't actually cruel people?). Congratulations on your engagement & best wishes for continued happy wedding planning! Smiley heart

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  • Megan
    Expert October 2019
    Megan ·
    • Flag
    I'm sorry you've had to deal with all those insensitive questions. Perhaps you could tell people that you dont want anyone else to take the place they would have in the ceremony (such as walking you down the aisle and giving you away)? Its become common for brides to do it anyway... if you have any immediate family, perhaps they could speak and say "we do for her parents". I hope this becomes easier and that you enjoy your wedding planning (it's not easy but full of memories). Good luck.
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  • Jessie
    Savvy June 2020
    Jessie ·
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    I like the meeting halfway idea. I suggested it to my FH and he thinks it's a good idea, buy doesn't want to take away from my moment. 😊 Thanks for your input.
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  • Cyndy
    Master May 2019
    Cyndy ·
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    I’m sorry people are so insensitive and asking those questions. My husband gets questions all the time and he lost his parents very young too. Walk proudly down that aisle alone to your FH.
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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Champion March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    Meeting half-way seems symbolic too. An independent woman joining her partner then they walk together on their journey. Aw! 💕
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  • earias
    Champion December 2017
    earias ·
    • Flag

    I'm sorry you're going through this. I was also a bride without parents. My mom passed away the year of my wedding and then my dad no longer wanted to have a relationship with me since I was not his biological child (I was adopted). I didn't let that take away from my happiness and I honestly didn't feel sad on my wedding day. I focused on the love and support of my guests who were there for me. I walked down the aisle alone and saw it as a symbolic gesture of walking down the aisle as an independent woman confident in my choice of partner. It is becoming more common now for brides to walk alone so don't let anyone make you feel like this isn't normal. Also, anyone can walk you, male or female, if you really want an escort down the aisle. This is your choice so do whatever makes you happy.

    a Bride With No Parents 1

    a Bride With No Parents 2


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  • Laura
    Rockstar October 2019
    Laura ·
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    I know it's frustrating. I lost my mom to cancer when I was 14, then my dad to a heart attack when I was 17. Not having them with me this past Saturday was hard. I did have people ask who was giving me away. I don't think anyone intends to be rude, they're excited and want details. I just don't think they realize it stings an orphaned bride, or a bride with no close ties to her parents. I had planned to give myself away, i'm 50 and was married before. My husband didn't want me to have to do that. It was supposed to be one of his sons doing it, the because of some bridesmaid drama two of them did it. It was emotional, but special. Don't feel like you have to have someone give you away if you don't want that.

    a Bride With No Parents 3


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