a baby and a wedding!

I think trying to take a step back and acknowledge that a lot of exciting things are happening at once is a good thing! If you were the mom-to-be and you heard your FSIL was jealous of your baby, you'd be annoyed probably. When your wedding day comes, the family will be oohing and awing over you and your FH all day long! It will be an incredible celebration but as you said, you get one day, and when that one day comes I am sure you will feel like its all about you and everyone will be doting on you.

My husband and I had a similar situation, kind of. Sounds petty, but we had all of the family attention for the whole 1.5 years we were engaged. We were the center of every exciting conversation, everyone was always talking about the wedding. Well the wedding came and went and things calmed down for us, not as many "exciting things" happening. Until a few weeks later we found out husbands step-brother and his girlfriend are unexpedtedly expecting. Threw everyone for a loop, but the center of a lot of family convos became about that baby. (There is a lot more backstory and a lot of history on why we had other feelings about all of this, but regardless...) we felt slightly jealous. We wanted to have a baby, we wanted to give husbands parents their first grandbaby. We felt like we "earned" it or something silly for doing things the traditional way. Anyhow, we had to pull ourselves out of that mindset because it is childish and unhealthy. Families are about many people, and many exciting things, trying to remain positive about the situation and getting excited about all of the awesome things happening in your family will help change your perspective. Congrats on your engagement and the baby on the way!

I can understand your feelings. You said you "just found out" about her pregnancy. If that's true of many of the others whose reactions you've noticed, some of the current focus might just be the excitement of having just found out. I agree with others that it's likely attention will shift back to you as your wedding gets closer. In the meanwhile, spend time with friends and family on your side who aren't as caught up in the baby excitement on FH's side. In a family, there are often lots of different exciting milestones that happen at similar times. While your feelings are completely understandable, things like this are likely to happen repeatedly and the more you can focus on how great it is that good things are happening in the lives of people you love, the easier/better it will be! (I can speak from experience. It took us 8 yrs to get pregnant. When we finally did, we and everyone who loved us were thrilled. One of my sister's in law got pregnant with her second within weeks of us. Our daughter was late, her son was nearly a month early, so our kids were born 4 days apart -- and hers with some immediate medical issues. We were of course incredibly concerned about her and the baby, but it "stung" a little when everyone's attention shifted so fast to my nephew's birth and health concerns {I'm sure my hormones didn't help...}. Those two "babies" are part of a group of 13 cousins on that side of the family. Over the years, there have ALWAYS been multiple birthdays, graduations, etc., that overlap -- and sometimes "compete" with each other for time and attention -- but the good news is there are always PLENTY of people to celebrate with! Hang in!

I understand how you're feeling. H and I were both the first kids to get married. We were never showered with attention about the wedding. People were excited but conversations definitely didn't revolve around us, and selfishly, that was a bummer at times. Our wedding was in the middle of August. In February, my sister found out she was pregnant and due at the end of September. I was less than thrilled for several reasons. At the time, she lived out of state and didn't even know if she would be able to travel for the wedding. I'm the oldest and did things in the "right order" (I know it is dumb but this is really how I felt) and it upset me that she was going to have the first grandchild (sounds stupid, but just being honest). She ended up dropping out of my wedding (she was a bridesmaid) and made a lot of things about her (starting weird drama...I blamed it on the pregnancy hormones haha). One of the most hurtful things was when my family threw her a baby shower, but didn't offer to throw me a bridal shower (not that I expected one, but it was hurtful and was something I should have anticipated based on past experience).

BUT. She had her baby about a month after our wedding, and we could not possibly love the baby more. Being an aunt/godparent has been such a blessing. And honestly, it is kinda nice that nobody is bugging us (or rarely bugging us, anyway) to have kids since my sister bit that bullet for us!