9.19.20 Wedding-postpone till next year?

We went through the same scenario options that you are thinking over. We originally planned to do your option #1 (married this year and then big celebration next year). After some long talks, we both decided that we aren't even sure big gatherings (without social distance measures) will be possible next year at all and have now moved to your option #2. It sounds like you really want to get married and move onto the next stage of life.. you should sit down with your fiancé and come up with a plan for if you select option #3 and then it's still not possible next year: will you postpone AGAIN? can your mental health handle that? Only you know how it will all affect you, and only you two can make the right decision for yourselves!

I never post on here, either, but I've been reading a lot of these posts, since COVID began. I felt the need to respond back to you because I couldn't believe how much we have in common! My date is also September 19, 2020. I'm from PA but we're getting married in VA. My fiance & I will be together 10 years this November. We'll be engaged for 2 years in September. We decided that it's more important to us to get married this year than to have the big reception. At first we thought we were going to do a small ceremony with family but then found out some of our family still did not feel comfortable attending (rightfully so - our parents our in their 70s & 80s). So we decided to elope with no one else there. (Our venue was kind enough to work us out an elopement package).

Next year is just as uncertain as the rest of this year. This is why I decided not to reschedule & not to plan any definite reception/party for next year. I was not able to handle the stress any longer. We decided that IF things are better next year with COVID, we will plan a more casual party in PA. But we don't feel like committing to anything at this time. I'm completely over the stress of planning. I don't even know if I will still want to plan a party, come next year. (I'm really not the party planning type.)

It's my first wedding (not my FH's first) and I do feel a little bitter that I got cheated out of the party. I didn't have a shower, a bachelorette party or anything. But I will still have a beautiful dress to wear & a lovely ceremony with an awesome photographer. I'm sad that I won't have family with me, but in the end, I think it's the right decision for us. I felt a lot of guilt over excluding everyone, especially my matron of honor whom I've been friends with since Kindergarten. But in the end, your wedding should be about you & FH. I hope you can decide what is best for the 2 of you!

I feel this way too - always the one to plan everything for everyone else, but no one is focused on that now, and the idea of pushing it past May 2021 is just not an option for us either because we are older. I'm not paying $$$$ to wear a mask at my own wedding and if we can't dance that's going to be a huge issue for me... i'm praying that's not the case, although Gov. Wolf said just this morning that the "mask everywhere" requirement will likely be in place until there's a vaccine, so fml.

I definitely think people will still want to celebrate and party with you next year! We had two weddings we were invited to this year get postponed, and they both plan on a small family ceremony this year and we’ll be joining them for a big celebration sometime next year!

Hopefully you and your fiancé can come to an agreement! ❤️

We have a super similar situation too! Our date was supposed to be October 16th but we're thinking now we will have to go with your option #1 of marrying on that original date with 10-20 family members and have the reception the following year. My FH and I have been together for 11 years and I COMPLETELY hear you that IT. IS. TIME At this point, I'd rather not even have the reception next year but we'd lose around $7,000+ in deposits and that is just not worth for us.

We're currently trying to figure out how/where the mini-ceremony and reception is going to happen this October. Do you have any initial ideas if you went this route? Our two ideas are:

1) going to City Hall and eloping and having a get together at a private room at a brewery

2) trying to find somewhere like a restaurant that we can have an officiant meet us there and have it all included on-site (ceremony/reception + catering)

Wishing you the best of luck and can completely understand what you're going through!