Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Just Said Yes April 2020

70 kids on guest list! Help!

Emily, on July 29, 2019 at 12:55 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 35

Saved

Flag
Hide content

Hi everyone!

My fiancé and I are working on our guest list for our April wedding. Oh, how it’s been more of a challenge than we anticipated! Our venue holds 240. Of the 240 on our guest list, 70 of them are young children. We don’t mind having some children there. In fact, there are children in our family and children of close friends who we’d really like to have there. So we don’t want to have an “adults only” wedding. And it'd be hard to limit it to just family kids because there are some "like family" friends with kids we just can't imagine not having there. But... 70?! That sounds like a nightmare, if I’m honest!

I’d love advice on how to handle this! Is it appropriate to put a note in wedding invitations that lets parents know the situation and asks them to consider finding childcare for the wedding? I don’t feel like we can require childcare for some kids and not others. But maybe, if we let people know our reasoning behind asking, they’d understand and would be willing?

I would welcome any and all thoughts!

Thank you!!

Flag
Hide content

35 Comments

Latest activity by Cristy, on July 30, 2019 at 2:49 PM

Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on July 29, 2019 at 12:59 AM
Flag

Hide content
Typically, it’s best to say all children or none or there can be hurt feelings or even drama. Breastfeeding babies are always the exception and typically children in the wedding party are fine with other guests even when there’s a “no kids” rule.
- Reply
Just Said Yes April 2020
Emily · on July 29, 2019 at 1:23 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Totally get that it’s usually best to invite all or no children. But it’s hard to think about having to invite 70 or none at all! Especially when some of the children are very important to us. We aren’t having a bridal party. Hard stuff!
- Reply
Just Said Yes April 2020
Emily · on July 29, 2019 at 1:35 AM
Flag

Hide content
I should clarify, we wouldn’t ask people to consider childcare because there are other people we’d like to invite. But we’d ask them to consider it because 70 children is such a high number!
- Reply
Dedicated April 2020
Wendy · on July 29, 2019 at 2:14 AM
Flag

Hide content
I agree with pp, that it's usually best to either invite everyone's children, or to have an adult only affair. Otherwise, feelings will likely be hurt.

Also, if you ask them to consider childcare, most guests will not. So if you chose to include that in the invitation, be prepared for most of the kiddos to be there.

We are planning to have children at our celebration and have about 60-70 as well. We plan to have a whole area dedicated to kids, activities, lawn games, snacks, etc.
- Reply
Savvy May 2020
Mollie · on July 29, 2019 at 2:49 AM
Flag

Hide content
I have a big family and am planning on quite a few kids at my wedding. If you do end up having kids at the wedding, I agree with Wendy! Have a dedicated space for kids to be that isn't in the middle of everything (we have another room in our reception venue, but you could even just designate a kid's corner) where parents can check up on them but they won't interrupt. We are bringing a bunch of games and coloring books for them. There are also a TON of cute wedding day coloring books out there! This is one I bought for my wedding, just to make it extra special! It also still allows them to feel involved, which is nice. https://www.etsy.com/listing/539111872/wedding-kids-activity-book-wedding-table
- Reply
Devoted April 2020
Sara · on July 29, 2019 at 3:13 AM
Flag

Hide content
There are so many children in our families combined that we would love to have there but it would be quite a lot if we did. So we’re having our 3 children of course who are in the wedding party and nieces and nephews which is 7 total. I think it’s easier to keep it at immediate family only or no kids unless you do all 70, which is a lot!! Lol
- Reply
Super August 2019
Tina · on July 29, 2019 at 5:27 AM
Flag

Hide content
I would just say due to seating constraints we ask that this be an adults only celebration. Then just invite the kids that you actually want there..like bridal party kids. Imagine its $50 a person... that's a ton of money. Plus they will cry and interrupt your ceremony..I think its better to just invite the ones ya have too❤
- Reply
Super October 2020
Renee · on July 29, 2019 at 5:38 AM
Flag

Hide content
I don't know if there's a polite way to put that. Maybe try spreading the word around through friends instead of putting it on the invitation?
I'm not sure how many kids we'll have at ours but probably not that much lol our guest list is smaller though.
I'm sure some parents will get a sitter anyways. Sometimes a wedding is a nice excuse to have a night out
- Reply
Devoted April 2021
Allaura · on July 29, 2019 at 6:50 AM
Flag

Hide content
I’ve estimated about 20 kids will come to our wedding. So I’ve planned on hiring a nanny/babysitter to keep the kids entertained while the adults have some fun lol
- Reply
Expert November 2022
Megan · on July 29, 2019 at 7:00 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
We wanted to do something like this too, either at the venue like a highschool student I know, since my fh had family coming in from another state and they normally make a vacation of it when they come to see family so I feel it would be rude to tell them not to bring the kids, plus the only sitters they would have is family who are at the wedding.
- Reply
Expert November 2022
Megan · on July 29, 2019 at 7:04 AM
Flag

Hide content
Ughh this is so tough, I love kids but yeah 70 kids would be a lot of kids, I mean if you are paying per person. I would hope some parents/families might take advantage of the wedding as an opportunity to have a kid free night and get a sitter but I have heard how hard it is for some to find sitters.
- Reply
VIP October 2020
Kelly · on July 29, 2019 at 7:10 AM
Flag

Hide content
Okay so overall it's always rude to tell a parent to consider childcare, just don't do that for any reason ever. In general it should be all or none of you can afford it. If you can't do all of them inviting family only kids is okay, just be sure to write only the adults names on the invites of the families youre not inviting the kids on. Also some parents will make arrangements unprompted or just decline the invite if they don't want to deal with their own kids.
- Reply
Devoted October 2020
8Bitbek · on July 29, 2019 at 7:22 AM
Flag

Hide content
The only children we're inviting are our nieces and nephew; so his sisters kids, and my brothers kids. The main reason they're invited is because they're in the wedding.
- Reply
Dedicated June 2020
Kellie · on July 29, 2019 at 7:53 AM
Flag

Hide content
Honestly, I would add in some kid friendly things; coloring pages, fun songs that kids love (hello baby shark 🤣) some kid-oriented snacks (sugar cookies shaped like wedding bells?)
- Reply
Super September 2019
ASMini914 · on July 29, 2019 at 8:14 AM
Flag

Hide content
I know a lot of people say “all or none”, but I think it would be completely acceptable to just not invite all kids. You can start by identifying the families who you don’t want the kids there, and then just invite the parents. Especially if they aren’t traveling to your wedding it shouldn’t be a problem.
- Reply
Devoted April 2021
Allaura · on July 29, 2019 at 8:41 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Same. The only people that could watch my kids will be at our wedding lol so we’re looking into services that provide nanny services and I’m going to set them up in a corner at the reception sort of like a mini daycare
- Reply
Expert October 2020
Sara · on July 29, 2019 at 8:50 AM
Flag

Hide content
OMG!!! 70 kids!!! They don't even know what a wedding is!!! You will need WAY more then 1 high school kid to watch all those kids. That just sounds like a mess.
- Reply
Master October 2020
Mandi · on July 29, 2019 at 9:21 AM
Flag

Hide content
As someone who doesn't particularly like children, I chose to only invite the children we know and have met.
If I got invited to a wedding with a note that said 70 kids were invited, I'd nope out pretty hard.
- Reply
Master October 2019
Jolie · on July 29, 2019 at 10:41 AM
Flag

Hide content
That sounds like a nightmare but really what can you do if you are adamant on including both family children and close friends' children. If you won't sway to just inviting family children there's not much you can do. We stuck with just family children and one family that my FH is close with. They were the only exception we made. We have many more friends with kids but we really don't want too many there for the formality of the event. FH's side of the family already mentioned they might not bring the kids because they want an adult night out. With 70 kids you could have a separate room that could have childcare that would be entertainment for them. Like maybe have a projector play a movie? If you take a method of picking and choosing you'll have someone offended when they arrive and see other kids there. That's really up to you if you chose to do that.
- Reply

VIP September 2019
Melissa · on July 29, 2019 at 10:58 AM
Flag

Hide content
I would invite in circles, like immediate family children only, cousin’s kids as well and bridal party members children. That’s 3 different examples of circles there but you don’t need to include all. 70 is a ton of kids. Do you get a discount for under a certain age? If not, I would cut a lot of kids bc they won’t eat nearly as much as adults. We have a bunch of cousins kids but we are doing immediate family only, which brings it to my 18 month old nephew who will be the ring bearer.
- Reply