6 months is short notice for oot sister and best friend.

I can say the same exact thing. I just recently got engaged and we both want a very short engagment as well. My twin sister says she cant make it and all ot my grandparents refuse to go. My younger brother could care less and my parents are still on the hook about it all. The only one i know for sure that is coming is my younger sister. Now im reconsidering a short engagement.

I think that people say these things, and then when you set a firm date, they mostly end up working it out to be there, anyway. I think a 6-8 month engagement is plenty of time.

You’ll never be able to find a date that works for everyone, but you have to decide what’s more important-a short engagement or them being there. H and I plan our vacations more than 6 months in advance so if we had to travel for a wedding this summer that we didn’t know about until now it’s possible we’d have to decline. As long as you’re comfortable with the possibility that they may not attend, continue with your plans for this year.

I disagree with the advice you've gotten so far. I would never get married without my sister and my dearest friend and your reasons for doing so don't justify making things so inconvenient for your loved ones. I can't imagine ever telling my family that a warm summer night and short engagement was more important than they were. That has lasting ramifications, in my opinion. Make sure you're willing to live with the consequences, even if they tell you now they won't be upset.

I don't think is bad at all. I don't think it'll take long to plan everything and I think it would be great to just get it over with especially if you've been in a long relationship. FH and I have been together for 6years and I feel that it's taking too long for us to get married lol. Keep you short date

You can't find a single "warm summer night" that doesn't conflict with their vacation schedules?! This sounds made up. When you say you've "been together so long" what does that mean? It's interesting that multiple people very close to you seem to think you're rushing things.

H and I had a 7 month engagement. Only one couple didn't attend due to having other stuff already scheduled that weekend, and that was his great aunt and great uncle who had a family cruise booked (couldn't cancel due to the number of people impacted) PLUS they would have been traveling from AZ to MO so possibly wouldn't have been able to make the trip anyway. Many others ended up not attending for other reasons, but not one person tried to tell us we had too short of an engagement.

Also fyi H and I live in Chicago, and all of our family and close friends live 5+ hours from us. Many are a plane ride away. You better believe six months would be PLENTY of time for us to work out attending someone's wedding if it was important to us. If they have jobs that make it really hard for them to get time off, then you need to figure out what's more important - your warm summer beach wedding, your timeline, or having them there. Only you can decide that.

It's a personal decision: is it more important to you to get married ASAP, or to wait and get married in the presence of some of the most important people in your life? If I was in your shoes, I'd wait. You have the rest of your lives together to be married, so what difference does a few more months (or even a whole year) of waiting make in the long run? Two of your VIPS already have trips booked, and I wouldn't expect them to just cancel major existing plans like that on your behalf, not even for a wedding. But again, it's a personal decision, and no one here can really answer for you.

It is true that you're not going to find a date that works for everyone, but at the very least you should consider checking the date with your Vips. There are 8-9 weekends in July/August, none of those work for them?

Ask them what dates they are not available, and then pick a date that isn't one of those dates. If they still aren't able to make it work, then that is on them.

We got engaged May 2016 I was pregnant so we figured that 2017 would be best .. when venue searching we found the perfect place with no available dates in Oct . . So had to push it back to Oct 2018 .. we wanted to get married last year but it is what it is .. it's not like we are going anywhere because we pushed it back .. we had a vision and did what we had to do

View Quoted Comment

100% agree with you. Not even considering changing the date for your VIPs seems so shortsighted to me. OP, I'd seriously consider what's more important to you: the people you love being there when you get married or having your way...

View Quoted Comment Trust me it’s definitely not made up. We’ve been together for 6 years and decided we want to get married sooner than a year. My family isn’t saying it’s too soon for reasons you may think. It’s too soon for them because they want to save up and be able to help me with the wedding, which is great in the grand scheme of things. My sister also wouldn’t give me a definite answer because she has already made plans to travel this year and her funds would be low. She wants to help me fund some of the wedding as well so there’s a mix of needing time to do that (I’ve told her no need). She’s just saying that it’s going to be difficult, not impossible for family who want to help us plan it. Anyway after a good nights rest and seeing that they really want to be a part of the wedding, I’m considering pushing the date back and being flexible on the season we’d get married in.

Thanks everyone. I was really anxious when thinking about the date. There are so many things that contributed to why we wanted a short engagement and I got caught up in that. Fiancé and I had chosen the season without consulting our families and now that we brought it up it seems like everyone has their own opinion of why this or that date won’t work. I was about to do two receptions to accommodate my family here and my family in Jamaica (I still might). Honestly speaking, I want my sister and friend to be with me for the wedding here, so being flexible about the date is the best thing to do right now. I’ll take the advice of narrowing things down to what I value the most.


Thanks again for reading my venting session much love

I understand! I haven’t been w/ FH that long (2 1/2 years) but we are older and just didn’t want a long engagement. Originally, I had considered 2-3 months!!!! Then I realized that would drive me insane. So it became a 7 month because his parents were relocating for the winter until Feb. then we decided that we wanted a beach wedding, so now it will be a 9-month one. I checked though with all my family and they were on board. Then after I told the venue yes, my brother called to tell me that it was my nephew’s preschool graduation. It broke my heart a little, but I stuck by the date, and my brother is coming. I know that my nephew actually won’t care—he LOVES the beach and recently “accepted” being ring bearer (after we explained it!) he’ll be graduating from kindergarten the next year. Kids seem to graduate every year these days. If it were high school or college, I would have tried to change!

View Quoted Comment Aww but yeah it seems that there will always be someone who can’t come. But I’m glad your brother will be there. And good luck with the planning! I would love a beach wedding myself as you know from my other post I made. Thanks for sharing!

View Quoted Comment Hang in there! You’ll find something that works!