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akshali2000
Dedicated September 2018

6 am Tamil weddings :0

akshali2000, on May 6, 2017 at 9:14 PM Posted in Planning 0 36

My partner and I are having a South Asian wedding (in the US), but his customs and mine are very different. In particular, he and his family are very adament about the ceremony. in his religious/cultural tradition, weddings begin at the crack of dawn (auspicious time), and last 4 hours. I just don't see how this would be logically possible given the size of our wedding. Can you imagine forcing 200 people to wake up at 4:30 am and get ready for for a 6 am ceremony for 4 hours? I just imagine the audience yawning the whole time, or worse, skipping out entirely. I'm not even sure a venue could set up that early! The way the ceremony is done is extremely important to his family. He argues that a ceremony is "not for the guests, it's for us and our families". Whoever else who wants to attend can attend. However, we will have many out of town guests, so I would hate for them to fly all the way out just for a reception. It's important to me that our friends be there for to support us. Help!

36 Comments

Latest activity by Orchids, on May 7, 2017 at 2:04 AM
  • CMC
    Master November 2016
    CMC ·
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    I would 100% not attend this. No way. If abiding by this custom (?) is a dealbreaker for you, I would recommend having immediately family only attend.

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  • Amanda
    Expert August 2017
    Amanda ·
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    Maybe you could do a private ceremony with your FH and your families and then have a traditional US ceremony at a standard time?

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  • Sylphier
    Super June 2017
    Sylphier ·
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    Perhaps you can do both a ceremony in your traditional ways and the one in his? Do a private ceremony in the early AM for his culture, and invite guests to a later afternoon/evening american/whatever ceremony and reception after that. Best of both worlds, you both will be happy [exhausted, but happy] because you are both fulfilling your beliefs and wants.

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  • akshali2000
    Dedicated September 2018
    akshali2000 ·
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    @Amanda and @Sylphier - Yeah, I think a dual/split two day ceremony might need to happen in order to keep everyone sane. His ceremony on Friday morning and mine on Saturday, followed by a Saturday reception. This will inevitably make costs rise, but I guess we'll deal. The only main concern I have with this is that both of our ceremonies won't be THAT different from each other to a layman audience (both involve walking around a fire) other than A) length (my family's ceremonies are usually 1 to 1.5 hours) B) a few key rituals C) clothing. So I feel like it will be weird to like get married twice if it's not 2 distinctly different ceremonies you know, like a Hindu ceremony and a Christian church ceremony for example.

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  • akshali2000
    Dedicated September 2018
    akshali2000 ·
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    @MrsWrs, awww really? That makes me happy! Kudos to you, I know I would be annoyed as a guest having to stressfully leave work Thursday evening, fly out and and arrive Thursday late night, take friday off and get up extremely early, and then pay for another hotel night after the reception.

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  • Jessica
    Super July 2017
    Jessica ·
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    I second what MrsWrs says Smiley smile

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  • Victoria
    VIP February 2018
    Victoria ·
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    I agree with your idea of his Friday am (if he doesn't care about extended family and friends going) and then yours on Saturday. Id totally attend both, but the cultural ceremony would be awesome to see. Can't wait to see your BAM Smiley smile

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  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
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    I would invite your immediate families. That would be a hard no from me, and there is no way you'll get 200 guests there at 6:00 AM. You can barely get them there at 6:00 PM.....

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  • QueSeraSera
    VIP December 2017
    QueSeraSera ·
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    One of my friends was a bridesmaid for a Vietnamese wedding which starts at 6am and there's traveling from house to house and whatnot, all in the lovely state in the Midwest. And it was a fairly large wedding!

    You might not have everyone there but the people that want to be there will be there, ie., all the important people.

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  • CMC
    Master November 2016
    CMC ·
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    I don't think you need to have 2 "ceremonies" - just have an immediate-family only ceremony in the morning, and host a reception for the 200 guests that night

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  • TheFutureMrsWalker
    Super August 2017
    TheFutureMrsWalker ·
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    As a former wedding planner with Marriott I always loved planning ceremonies that highlighted the couple's culture(s). There were a few ceremonies similar to yours and it was just family. I love the idea. Best of luck!!

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  • KatieJade
    Expert September 2018
    KatieJade ·
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    I would totally attend. I also love going to weddings and would be really excited to go! I'm definitely not a morning person but I'd survive lol

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  • Miranda
    VIP May 2017
    Miranda ·
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    I wouldn't attend this either. I'm sorry. But that is so early!!! Maybe do two ceremonies and keep the one at 6am private for close close family.

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  • akshali2000
    Dedicated September 2018
    akshali2000 ·
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    Thanks everyone! I totally understand if people wouldn't be down to attend this sort of early morning ceremony, but I'm very touched by all the WW posters who said they would! I'm hoping to try my luck with pushing it to 7 am :p

    That's very sweet of y'all! Smiley smile

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  • akshali2000
    Dedicated September 2018
    akshali2000 ·
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    @queserasera - Interesting! I didn't know there were other cultures that did this too.

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  • QueSeraSera
    VIP December 2017
    QueSeraSera ·
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    Yup, my friend (who is caucasian) told me all about it! She said she & the other bridesmaids had a good time

    You need to do whatever your/his culture calls for if you want to.

    Some people just won't understand 6am ceremonies and dry receptions. Don't listen to them.

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  • Miranda
    VIP May 2017
    Miranda ·
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    You could also just do a private ceremony with close family and then a reception for everybody.

    I definitely wouldn't judge your early ceremony. I get it's a religion thing. But unless I was super close to you I would probably skip it and just go to the reception.

    On the bright side I bet you could get some pretty sunrise pictures!

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  • CMC
    Master November 2016
    CMC ·
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    @quesera, are you just trying to shit stir on every thread tonight? Read the new user sticky.

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  • MrsCalderon
    VIP December 2016
    MrsCalderon ·
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    You wouldn't have to force anyone..... they probably wouldn't go and I certainly wouldn't get married at the crack of dawn. That would be a FIRM NO WAY. You're really down for that? Man that means that you have to start getting ready at like 3am. Good luck hiring a MUA and hair stylist at those hours. Have you discussed any of that with FH?

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  • QueSeraSera
    VIP December 2017
    QueSeraSera ·
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    CMC - Some people don't seem to understand the cultural aspect of some weddings

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