50/50 or 100/100?

I think it waxes and wanes. An extreme example is when I was sick, I couldn't do anything for myself never mind my partner, at that point it'd be 0/100. Some days he's got a migraine and he's not able to do everything so it'd be like 40/100. Some days we just can't put our all into our relationship, and see days we can. I think the difference is when you have the ability to, do you invest the emotional labor into your marriage or not? And if the answer is yes you're probably okay, if you're choosing not to invest emotional labor into your relationship you need to ask yourself why not.

I like what PP said ! That's exactly how I think of it too

View Quoted Comment Thank you for sharing that perspective, it's very interesting and pushes my thinking.

View Quoted Comment Got it, thanks for sharing.

As someone who has been divorced, I can guarantee you that it is neither 50/50 or 100/100. Anyone who claims either is setting very unrealistic expectations, and in my opinion is being set up to fail. Yes, both parties should be completely committed to the relationship, but like the first poster said, what you can give or need is going to change. Just because you can't give your partner your all every day doesn't mean that you are not still completely committed to them. The important thing is that both are willing to be there for the other when things shift, and realizing that sometimes you (or your partner) needs something or some time for yourself. Patience, understanding and communication is what makes a relationship work.

It is almost never equal. Some days, weeks, months it could be 30/70, 40/60. Then it changes the other direction 65/35, 55/45, 70/30. We would fight about equality but when we realized it's not really equal at any given moment but on the whole it is, it opened up our eyes that we don't need to fight about it anymore.

Hmm, I always thought 50/50 but this is an interesting perspective! After reading this, I think I'm on board with 100/100. Each person should be wholeheartedly in the relationship!

View Quoted Comment WOW. Thank you for sharing that perspective.

View Quoted Comment I completely understand your point.

View Quoted Comment When I was growing up I always heard people say relationships are 50/50. After reading some of the comments I'm starting to understand that it's not always equal.