5 people showed up for Bridal shower.

I understand it’s difficult but just let it go. You had a good time with the people that were there for you and that’s all that matters. Instead of focusing on those who didn’t attend, focus on those people who did.

Did the 20 people rsvp or were they just invited? Not everyone can attend every event so unless they said they’d be there and then didn’t show I don’t think you should say anything about it.

Thank you ladies. There were invites and yes RSVP done. I will continue to keep my feelings bottled up and say nothing. It's what's proper.

I'm sorry this happened to you. People are so lax nowadays when it comes to honoring their yes responses to parties. People tend to forget that these parties take time and effort to plan and execute. If I was in your situation, I wouldn't invite them to the wedding. Maybe it's a tad extreme, but if they were able to not show up to your shower after they rsvp'd yes, what's to say they arent going to do the same to you at your wedding? 20 meals for 20 people who didnt show up is not only a huge waste of food, but also could potentially be thousands of dollars gone to waste if you have a high price per person.

View Quoted Comment I totally agree however my invites went out already. The only reason we are having a wedding is for my FH, I have repeatedly told him let's just elope and he doesn't want to. I feel I'm stuck and miserable but I have to show excitement for him. Just to think we aren't even going on a honeymoon because the wedding cost. I just can't wait for this to be over already.

View Quoted Comment I hate to say this, but what's the worse that can happen if you rescind those invitations to those 20 people? They dont ever speak to you again? Screw them. If those people RSVP yes to your wedding, I would hit them up and say, "hey, thanks for wanting to come to my wedding celebration. But given your past of not showing up after you said you would, I need to make sure if youre positive on coming to the wedding so i dont waste money on paying your plate of food if you dont show up like my bridal shower." Man, I'm mad for you. Hope everything works out.

View Quoted Comment It’s not about being proper. It just seems like you’ve given up. That’s a terrible way to feel about your own wedding.

If they decline, that is fine. But to Reply yes, then not attend, is terribly rude. Showers are a second gift in addition to a wedding gift, and it is okay if people do not want to do it. Or have busy schedules. But that 14 said yes and did not come would make me angry, as a shower hostess or a bride. And there is nothing you can say it do. . Try to look on things that are going well. This is FI's wedding too, and if you do it but have an attitude , well I'm only doing it because you want it, He and everyone else will sense it. And the fact that you are doing it but begrudgingly, is hurtful to FI. There are many times in marriage you will nit agree, where there is no middle ground compromise. But once you agree, this particular thing is so very important to spouse that you will go along, you need to be graceful and do what it takes happily, not be miserable throughout. Just as you would want it when things go your way, and you do not want everything spoiled by foot dragging and grumbling by your SO. We those who gave the shower family, or bridal party, or other friends? Are they upset, too?

View Quoted Comment Thank you very much for sharing your feeling because I honestly feel that way but can't show it.

View Quoted Comment I agree that's why I'm holding my feeling and being polite and happy for my FH.

View Quoted Comment It is hard to do, but a mindset, that you focus on how happy it makes FI, not how you dread the doing of it. But I do not know anyone with a day to day happy marriage who does not manage it. Sounds strange: well, because I was miserable planning a wedding I did not want, I came into marriage better prepared for compromising without any of the bitterness and nastiness so many people show when they have not gotten their own way. But there is a certain truth in it. Many early and long term marital fights go on and on, because people agree to do something, and all the time are thinking, but I won't like it, and I will make darned sure he and everyone else knows it. Martyrs and passive aggressive people are a misery to live with. Your attitude is much stronger and healthier. 😊 You can air your feelings here, but not spoil things for FI, and will likely please in-laws.

View Quoted Comment You absolutely correct, I'm not concerned with details but I will be in my best behavior for our wedding.

Honestly depending on who these people were I may inquire politely as to what the reason for their absence was. For example if it were friends or close family I would want to make sure nothing happened.

It sounds like there is a lot going on for you and a lot of conflicted feelings. I can understand wanting it to be over - I felt the same for similar reasons but I think a little less intense than you are. I also would be pretty upset if the same thing happened to my shower. I think that's valid. It's super rude to RSVP yes and not show up with no comment or explanation.

I think you may need to talk with your fiance too and talk about how you're feeling about the wedding. Make it about the planning and be clear it's not about him and your relationship (if that's true) but maybe he can give you more support if he knows you're struggling.

Thank you ladies😊 for your words. I'm over it and feel better.

That is awful. I am sorry. Did they RSVP and not show, or did they not RSVP? That would make all the difference in the world to me. If they said they were coming and did not...then I would be all out RUDE right back and send them a very passive aggressive note about RSVP'ing to the wedding and actually showing.

If they did not RSVP, then really, there is nothing to be angry about other than these people probably are not as good of friends as you thought they were.

Wedding planning in this time of COVID 19. nothing has been canceled and is going to plan. Had my rescheduled bridal shower this past weekend (was originally planned for April) over 20 guests were invited, at least 1/2 RSVPD, A few did let me know ahead of time the couldn't make for various reasons.


I sent a friendly reminder 2 weeks, 1 week and 2 days before. With little to no response.
1 guest attendee outside of hosting bridal party.
You would think I would be mad, but not really. My ladies put their heart and soul into decor and food and being present to spend this time with me. They gave me the greatest gift of time during wedding planning and this season of life. I took sooo many photos and will treasure this time.
Yes for a moment I was sad that no others attended. Life goes on. They are still invited to the wedding. I may be a little more reserved for a time in my words towards them, but eh 🤷🏽‍♀️. I'll spend more of my energy on those that matter most and are most excited about these events. Even during COVID 1O

Like any invitation, anyone is free to decline for any reason ( you don't ask, just assume in their best judgement, they wanted to, but could not.) And hosts never, ever should hold it against someone. If it happens over and over and over, same person, do not invite them again. Showers are supposed to be only for tge closest friends and family, because the hostess asks that they bring a second gift in addition to a wedding gift. In non-covid times, lots of people miss showers. Especially if they like the bride, but never even exchange birthday cards or have dinners together. And don't feel they need to do a second gift. So just enjoy the company of people who did come, and send Thank You's as you plan for gifts. ... Something that has happened to me, as bride and giver, and to most people I know. A few people who are invited, but do not attend the shower , will give you a bigger gift than you would expect from them. They looked at your registry, and wanted to give one thing that took what they would have spent on 2 gifts. And decided, you would really want that bigger gift. So do not think bad thoughts. People who declined a shower gave us a freestanding dishwasher
( rental house) and another a Dryer. Even if they got a sale price, big gifts from people with their incomes.

People who support you will always make time for you. You do not owe the people who did not come anything. As a matter of fact, don't even bring up the shower. Just let it go.

View Quoted Comment Agreed, I thank you for posting

View Quoted Comment Agreed, thank you for posting