5 lessons i learned while planning my wedding.

After 10 months of planning, despite many obstacles including giving birth to my first baby, my now husband in between jobs while I was on maternity leave, 2 of my bridesmaids never receiving their dresses from Amazon and had to buy local in a different color and style 3 days before, and scrambling to pay for it all- the wedding went off without a hitch! I had so much fun planning my own wedding, as stressful as it was near the end. However, now that the big day is over and I have the wisdom to look back at all my decisions (hindsight is 20/20 as they say) I want to share 5 changes I'd make if I could do it all over again:

1. Establish a budget:
I didn't work with an actual budget, I just tried to go as cheap as possible. In the end, I paid TOO much on flowers and went too CHEAP on decor and entertainment. After going through all the receipts, I was left feeling pretty stupid. If I had bought all my florals at Trader Joe's instead of spending hundreds of dollars on subpar arrangements from the florist, I could've used the money I'd save on more decorations I wanted or hire a DJ to do a better job with the music (I synced up my phone to a loud speaker but the ceremony music was too low to hear, so I walked down the aisle in awkward silence). I was SO disappointed!
2. Have a clear vision of your theme:My dream wedding was a romantic, gothic style Beauty and the Beast theme with red, white, black and gold as the color palette. I accomplished this for the most part, but I didn't have nearly as much black as I wanted, so the gothic theme didn't shine through like the others. I focused too much on making sure the Beauty and the Beast theme was presented but forgot to add the gothic spin to it. The wedding turned out beautiful regardless and everyone loved what I did; I still had my skeleton bride and groom cake toppers and the bridesmaids had gothic style bouquets.
3. Discern what is worth compromising: I REFUSED to settle on my wedding dress. I paid $1200 for a custom Belle style gown and it was worth every penny. However, looking back I wish I had been more flexible with my bridal party dresses. I was so insistent on a particular style, I made my sisters order it online instead of letting them buy local to find dresses that best fits them- BIG mistake! 2 of my sisters ordered the right style, but not the right color while the other 2 never got their dresses and had to buy theirs at a nearby David's Bridal. They couldn't find the same style but had the color I wanted. The flower girls didn't match either of them. This was 3 DAYS before the wedding! Had I allowed them to buy their dresses locally instead of online so they can try on dresses in real time in the styles they were most comfortable with, I could've saved us all a lot of time, money and stress! And as punishment for my lack of compromise, I had a bridal party who looked like they came from 3 different weddings.
4. Don't be afraid to ask for help: My biggest mistake was not reaching out to my mother-in-law to help me with the wedding budget (the #1 lesson I learned). She has a career in budgeting for non-profits and knows all the secrets to saving money. But I was too prideful to ask for her assistance in the beginning and it wasn't until I had spent a lot of money and was scrambling to pay all the vendors that I allowed her to help me make a reasonable budget. I also should have asked my maid of honor to help me with small tasks while I was recovering from giving birth. Trying to juggle my new role as a mother while still being a bride was incredibly taxing! 5. Remember- it's YOUR day: My biggest personality flaw is that I'm too conscientious, so I try to impress everyone at my own expense. At one point, I became so obsessed about having every aspect the wedding be perfect for everyone else, I lost sight of what it was all about: to celebrate the love of me and my husband! So what if I had to give everyone chicken instead of steak to cut food costs, or if some people didn't like my husband's taste in music- it was OUR day. In the end, everything turned out perfectly.