4 Hour Time Gap???

Is she meaning that the guests go on to cocktail hour without them while they take pictures? Because when I hear "gap," what I'm thinking is that it's unhosted and the guests have to occupy themselves for four hours without cocktails.

I went to a wedding where the ceremony was at 1 and the reception at 6. I went home, changed and went back for the reception. Had I paid closer attention to that I would not have taken the day off and skipped the ceremony (the wedding was Friday).

Large gaps like that really suck.

Yeah when she says "mingle" does she mean people are hanging out at the venue and theres a 4 f hour cocktail thing or does she mean "mingle" in their hotel rooms? I'm usually ok with gaps to an extent (pretty Catholic, all that jazz) but 4 hours is excessive. That's not even trying to make it convenient. At the end of the day, ours will be like 45 minutes, maybe an hour and even then we're still trying to figure out something to do with that.

Janeen - My understanding was there would be 3 hours where the guests would have to occupy themselves and only 1 hour of cocktail hour at the reception venue.

ETA: I think what makes it even worse is that the bride is considering making it an even longer gap between the ceremony and reception! I wonder if she's ever been a guest at a wedding...

That's ridiculous. I can't imagine taking 4 hours of pictures. Or waiting around 4 hours for the bride to stop taking pictures for dinner.

Around here the Catholic ceremonies are usually at 2:00 PM and the reception starts at 6:00. I think most parishes have a 5:00 PM Saturday mass, with confession beforehand. My husband and I usually attend the ceremony (he was raised Catholic), but my parents usually do not. (My Dad is disabled, so moving him around is always an issue).

I just posted about this on another gap thread last night. We attended a 3 hour gapper this weekend. It was too early to check into the hotel and the only thing we could do was drink. So we did. A large group of us arrived to cocktail hour very buzzed and silly. Make sure your guests can check in early if this is what you are advertising since many hotels have a 4:00 check-in time around here. IMO, big gaps suck.

@sarahmarie I'd be the same way! hella' drunk!

Long gaps are just not okay! MIND THE GAP

Even giving guests "something to do" during that time (i.e. local attractions) is still pretty awful. It would be exhausting. After an hour in heels I'm ready to sit down, let alone 4 hours before the wedding reception even starts..... forget that! I would not go to their ceremony, not a chance.

No way. I'd not go to one thing or the other.

I would probably arrive for just the reception. Poor guests.

My issue with such a large gap I always end up going to a restaurant or bar in the break and am either too full to eat my meal or have a healthy glow before the reception. That is just too long. I would likely just end up going to the reception unless I lived close enough to go home and go back out...

Like Dreamer said, a 4 hr gap is not uncommon for those with a Catholic mass then a reception at a different venue. My wedding will have a 3 hr gap (church to reception takes about 30 mins which is not bad for Los Angeles). i provided my guests with suggestions of what to do in between. and i don't expect to keep the wedding party for photos the whole time....

*edited spelling errors. thanks iPad

If I knew about the gap in advance, I'd just skip their ceremony. If I didn't know about the gap in advance, I'd skip their reception. A list of public attractions, parks, bars, or coffee houses wouldn't interest me in the slightest.

Asking people to spend that much time at a wedding is rude.

I hate it when people blame Catholic weddings for having a gap. I've been to LOTS of Catholic weddings and none of them had gaps. They just have slightly longer (fully hosted) cocktail hours and then dinner is a little on the early side, like around 5 or 5:30.

I don't believe this will be a Catholic Church ceremony, not sure what kind of church it is, though. As far as I know, only the last hour of the gap will be a hosted cocktail hour. The guests are on their own for the rest of the gap.

Yeah, I'd go to the ceremony, and not come back if the gap was that long. Or I'd go to the reception but not the ceremony.

@Rebecca , the flip side is I hate it when people say that having a huge gap is terrible. In my family and culture (Polish Catholic) I've never seen a wedding where there wasn't a gap. Traditionally only immediate family attends the ceremony and everyone goes to the reception although everyone is invited to both. The last 2 weddings I attended one had ceremony at 11 and reception and 6:30 and the other had ceremony at 1 and reception at 7.

Something we tend to forget here is that different cultures have different expectations, and just because you think its rude, it maybe perfectly normal in that culture.

Nattie, I agree that cultural differences are a factor here. I wasn't referring at all to your type of situation where immediate family usually only attends the ceremony. It's more that there are lots of posts on here where a bride realizes only a few weeks before her wedding that a reception venue won't open up early enough to host people after the Mass and there's something like an hour gap with out of town people who won't know where to go - and they blame it on having a Catholic Mass. If given the choice, I would actually prefer a long gap like you mentioned for an in-town wedding.

Here in Michigan, we are notorious for this shit. It drives me crazy.

We're doing everything we can to minimize the gap. But I went to a wedding just like that. Out of ceremony by 2, reception wasn't until 6. Well, more like 6:30 because the wedding party was late.