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Katie
Beginner November 2019

+33 is the new +1 :(

Katie, on September 21, 2019 at 3:40 AM Posted in Planning 0 7
So I have a big family being the youngest of 9 and I wanted my family at my wedding even though we want a small wedding. My fiance is an only child but his mom's side is big but he doesn't like them and their drama and never talks to them and they never try and visit. I feel bad that most of the guests are my family but my fiance seems ok with it and it was his decision. Also since out venue only holds 128 people and we want friends there too.

We told my fiance's mom that we didn't want her side of the family there and they were not invited because of the reasons above plus he never sees them. So she goes around us and invites them and says just because you invite then doesn't mean they will go. And then continues to ask them for thier address and if I could send the invitations out to them since she asked them to pay for our honeymoon which we didn't ask for. We are getting married on our 10 year anniversary so she is telling everyone not to give us housewear even though our kitchen stuff is broken, stratched up, or dented. We would love a new pan!
She had a +1 for a second cousin that our daughter loves and it turned into +33. I'm not sending out the invitations but I'm so stressed about the situation. She even took most of our honeymoon off and is staying with us and we haven't had a vacation in 6 years. I think it is to babysit but the trip we are taking is only two nights.
I'm not a party planner, or a good host. I'm so overwhelmed. I have anxiety about upsetting a ton of people. But I'm tired of other people forcing things on me that I don't want. I just needed to vent.

7 Comments

Latest activity by Melle, on September 24, 2019 at 6:04 PM
  • Jennifer
    Super September 2020
    Jennifer ·
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    I think you need to firmly tell this woman that she will need to uninvite each of those people who she invited as you will not be sending invites. This is on her.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    Your FH should be the one handling this. He needs to establish firm boundaries with his mother because it's clear that she is overstepping. I'm sure that this isn't the first time and won't be the last. He needs to tell her that these extra guests will not be invited and she needs to let them know, otherwise she is the one that will look bad. I would also set up a registry with items that you do want and mention it on your wedding website since your FMIL is passing around false information.

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  • Lex
    VIP September 2019
    Lex ·
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    You need to have a very stern conversation about this stuff! It’ll only get worse if you just let her walk all over you.
    And I agree with the previous comments, where is your FH in all this? Is he okay with his mom taking over?
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  • Amanda
    Master December 2020
    Amanda ·
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    Omg I'd be setting her straight. Have you FH have a sit down with her and tell her that she isn't paying for the wedding, you want it small with meaningful attendees, you cant just invite yourself to our house or invited people to the wedding, she isn't paying for the STDs or Invitations, she needs to back off. My opinion. I'm sorry you're going through this! Just breathe in and out in and out
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  • Katie
    Beginner November 2019
    Katie ·
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    My FH was pissed and on the phone told her that we already reached max capacity and can't invite them and she just keeps telling is when we figure it out and make cuts to let her know. The 33 people were the cuts and the other invites are all sent out aready. She does a lot of stuff for our daughter so we are trying to be patient. But I going to make her talk to them but I have a feeling she wil still verbally invited them no matter what we do.
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  • J
    Devoted November 2020
    Jessica ·
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    OH NO! sounds like big stress, you and you FH need to sit down with her and make everything clear to her

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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    She needs to be told right away about this!!

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