32 Weeks Pregnant at Wedding

The ceremony is the important part of the event. If she can't come to the reception, who cares?

Do they have other children? Good luck to her getting an OBGYN to approve 2 weeks of travel outside of the country that far along in pregnancy (yes, airlines have the right to turn you assay if you don’t have clearance from your doctor).

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That was an error. Updated to reflect actual situation.

To echo Sarah, has she discussed this with her OB? I wouldn't be surprised if their vacation plans change radically between now and then.

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Yep, she has a six year old from a previous relationship. There are many airlines that don't have pregnancy restrictions.

What's the last day you can cancel their rooms and not have to pay? I wouldn't worry about it until then. If you have to suck it up and pay a slightly higher rate to reserve their rooms with the right to cancel with 24 hours notice, vs. a cheaper rate for non-refundable, then I suggest you do it. Also, talk to the hotel and see if you do need to cancel, if you just lose one night, or if they'll let you take a credit for a future vacation (anniversary trip, maybe), or something along those lines.

I'd plan to give your SIL a date to confirm or decline, approximately 2 weeks before the event. If she says she's going to Europe but not to your wedding, I'd go ahead and tell her you feel uncomfortable paying for her rooms for the wedding if she's not planning to attend. If she says she's planning to attend and then bails last minute, oh well, that happens.

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SIL and brother have referred to their attendance as a "game-time decision" that only be able to make the day of the event, unfortunately.

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Ahh. That is quite a pickle. I don't know if there's any way to politely talk about the accommodations issue, really. I'd just talk to your brother and emphasize how excited you are that they are still coming, and that you're looking forward to seeing them at the ceremony/reception. Attract more flies with honey, yeah?

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I don't think it matters if they've said their attendance will be "a game-time decision". Ignore that. Wait until 2 weeks or so before and ask for confirmation. Basically TELL them that if they're going to be in Europe you expect them to be at the wedding, and if they can't commit to that to the best of their ability (emergencies can happen to anyone, pregnant or not) then you'll be unable to pay for their accommodations. And if they're not going to be in Europe, then it's easy!

Paying for guests accommodations is not a mandatory thing in my opinion. Its nice that you have offered. I would have no issue telling them that unless they will be attending at least the wedding ceremony, you will not be paying for their accommodations.

Wow. That's incredibly rude of them. I would totally understand not wanting to travel - but the fact that they are going on a 2 week vacation - but *might not be able to make the ceremony & reception* is complete BS. If she cant attend a ceremony & reception - where she will be sitting down the entire time - what on earth are they planning on doing for this vacation?!

If they are going to be using your money for their hotel stay then I’d tell them they better show up at the ceremony at least. This was not meant for a free trip. Tell her like it is now and go ahead and cancel those rooms.

You know, daughter #4 lives just over 4 hours away and her doctor has said no more trips down to our area once she reaches 28 weeks - and that's in a car! I am wondering if the airlines will let her fly internationally at 32 weeks. We moved the baby up 6 weeks because of it.

I would think her doctor would not be cosigning the idea of travelling internationally.

I can't imagine an OB/GYN being alright with this. I know mine wouldn't be. One of my friends wasn't able to travel internationally beyond a certain time in her pregnancy.

As for providing accommodations, honestly i'd tell them since they're unable to confirm their attendance, you're not able to pay for their accommodations. Harsh, but why should you pay for their hotel, if they're not even attending, or won't know till day of?? Nope Nope Nope.

I’m sorry, what? No. This is incredibly rude. If she -can-, and I mean literally if she is able to like PP’s have pointed out between airline and OBGYN restrictions, make it to Europe for a vacation, she can most certainly use one of her 14 days there to attend the wedding this hotel was booked for. I don’t think there’s a “nice” way to say this, I’d go with more of a cordial approach.

“We booked the hotels for our wedding guests and if you aren’t able to attend, which I understand, we’re not in a financial position to cover anyone else.”

I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

If she’s gonna be that far along most airlines or doctors won’t even let her fly.

It doesn't sound like she's worried about being physically able to go. It sounds like she'd rather be doing tourist stuff than attending the wedding. I'd let her know you are only able to cover accommodations for guests. It's one thing if she's not feeling well and can't make it, it's a whole other thing if she'd rather be doing something else.

BTW my friend is 29 weeks and has been admitted to the hospital for the duration of her pregnancy, she went into early labor and is now on mandatory bed rest under constant doctor care. I can't imagine being overseas and having that come up suddenly.

View Quoted Comment "If she cant attend a ceremony & reception - where she will be sitting down the entire time - what on earth are they planning on doing for this vacation?!"

This this this all of this. I would absolutely not put up with this nonsense. Accommodations aren't cheap. And this is RUDE. It'll be hard to address but I think you should.

Crazy. I personally wouldn’t cover it if they aren’t coming. Also echoing what everyone else says. I’m shocked her ob would be cool with her flying that late in pregnancy I delivered at 32 weeks can’t imagine that happening in a foreign county and being stuck there in a nicu

If they're already going to be in europe (and sounds like planning on taking advantage of your covering their room), I don't really understand not coming to the wedding. Makes zero sense.

Also, being a 32 week pregnant tourist in europe in June isn't going to be pleasant for her depending on where they're going. Tons of walking, heat, and people will not be a relaxing vacation.

I've known people who've flown when they're that far along but they're not longer than 5 hours and they hid their pregnancy. IMO it's taking a huge chance to hop on a flight across the atlantic for a two week vacation. If I was them, I wouldn't have even agreed to come to your wedding that far along. It's too risky for both the mom and baby (ex if they had any complications and had to deliver mid flight or in foreign country). Her OB is not signing off on this. She can still do it, but it would be on her own responsiblity.