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Just Said Yes June 2023

3 Weeks Apart: Am i Being Insensitive?

Hannah, on September 27, 2022 at 1:39 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 6

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FH and I tentatively picked a date that we loved and worked well with a number of factors including his summer break from teaching.

When we asked family members about the date, his father expressed annoyance that our wedding is in the same month as his 3rd marriage will be, although they’re 3 weeks apart. He said neither wedding would feel exceptional if they shared the same month.
There are no overlapping family members that need to travel as they’re both in the same city and those family members are all local. His father’s wedding will also be smaller.
My FH wants to pick a new date in the fall, so as to not remotely be close to his dad’s. But honestly, I liked our date. I want to get married in the month we chose. Would I be insensitive if I push back on the idea that we can’t get married 3 weeks before his dad?

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6 Comments

Latest activity by Michelle, on September 27, 2022 at 3:11 PM

Master October 2023
Michael · on September 27, 2022 at 2:10 AM
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Three weeks is plenty good break between the two events. Even a week should be fine. Also, it seems the timing for your initial date is better overall for you. Definitely a first marriage is more monumental and deserves some priority. It would be useful for your FH to argue for the date you have planned. It is a curiosity why the dad cannot change their wedding date instead. So there are some reasonable approaches to take here.
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Devoted September 2022
Sara · on September 27, 2022 at 3:32 AM
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Stick with what you want and works for you!
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Master July 2022
Imani · on September 27, 2022 at 8:14 AM
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If you all are comfortable with your date stick to it! It’s just one day, he cannot take the entire month. 3 weeks is more than enough time apart I don’t understand why he’s making it a big deal.
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Champion July 2019
Veronica · on September 27, 2022 at 8:23 AM
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Three weeks between the two weddings is plenty of time. If it upsets your future father-in-law so much then he should be the one to change his wedding date. Sorry not sorry but a first marriage takes higher priority over a third in my opinion.
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VIP October 2022
Paige · on September 27, 2022 at 12:42 PM
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Your FIL needs to chill. He gets a day, not a month. I also wouldn't let him bully you out of the date you picked and like. It sounds like it makes a lot of sense for your wedding to be on the date you picked, so if your FIL has a problem with it, he should move his date. Your fiancé needs to put his foot down with his dad, not roll over and submit to his dad's every whim.
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VIP August 2021
Michelle · on September 27, 2022 at 3:11 PM
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As your FIL has his right to express knee-jerk feelings, you have every right to assert your reasons without feeling guilty. It's how adults communicate. Tell your FS you two should not be manipulated. Also, it doesn't matter if it's his 3rd marriage. Every commitment should be honored, but couples get one (1) day not the month.
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