3 Major Venue Issues-advice needed, please!

It sounds like 75 guests ate all your food which is awesome lol must’ve been good. Lol

Ask them for an itemized like list of everything that was used. Brand, price and estimate vs actually consumed. They should be able to tell you what was consumed. And they should give you a total, then a balance after they take out the credit you already put towards the bar.
Did you guys include gratuity and tax and service charges in your estimates? That might be another thing to look at too.

If it was a buffet without servers portioning out the food it doesn’t surprise me that guests ate more. I’ve been to several buffet weddings where I’ve been one of the last tables called and there was hardly any food left.

There’s ultimately not anything to be done in this situation. Either everyone ate all the food, a box went missing, something got thrown out, or something got discarded due to sanitation concerns (if something had been sitting out unrefrigerated for too long). It is all speculation so there’s no case for forgotten leftovers if you can’t prove it wasn’t eaten or forgotten via human error on someone on your side, or, If it was a food safety concern, they did the right thing. The course of action is to let it go.

our caterers said they would leave us our leftovers as well. We ONLY got proteins. It was great to have that but I was bummed my favorite side dish wasn’t leftover. In that case, I presume it was all consumed. But, our dessert also wasn’t saved, and that I’m pretty sure had leftovers that they just didn’t wrap up at the end of the party. It’s a bummer, as I hadn’t eaten any at the wedding and everyone kept RAVING about it the next day and asking if there were leftovers of it, so then I was disappointed. But, not a big deal: nothing to be done except move on.

All I can give advice on is #2. We asked our caterers to box our extras. Unfortunately due to their license or certification things that can go bad (like hot or prepared foods) could not be packed up due to them running the risk of a liability issue if it was not properly stored after they left. They only packed up bread fruit and salad but had told us this prior to our wedding. Depending on where you live that could be the case

View Quoted Comment There were servers for the main dishes and self serve for the buffet (we were told there would be servers for the whole thing, but who really cares). So unless 20 people went back for full seconds-I only saw a handful- there should have been at least something left.

View Quoted Comment Oh! Interesting, I’ve never heard of that, but could be! Of course if we would have known that we wouldn’t have ordered for 20 extra people lol

Is your wedding date in your profile correct that you got married in 2016? If so, you are running out of time to do anything - check with a lawyer in your state regarding applicable statute of limitations.

As for the consumption bar, I have heard that often times bartenders will open wine bottles when they don't need to and then you are charged for all open bottles even if they are full. Plus, often times guests sit a drink down, forget about it, and go get another one, or they just simply want to try different drinks without finishing the one they have. Couples often save money having a consumption bar but they are risky for the reasons mentioned. That is why I preferred having an open bar with a set rate. I knew exactly what I was paying.

As for the food, I agree with Kelly that it seems people eat a ton at weddings. This is a pet peeve of mine about buffets because I still remember that one wedding I went to 20 years ago where by the time my table got up to get food, all that was left was salad.

As for the venue construction, this would be something to discuss with an attorney. In fact, all of this should be discussed with an attorney.

I would definitely drink more than 3 drinks at a wedding. So I can see how the first one ended up being more than the original estimate. Also if more people drank wine than beer that total would be higher as well.

View Quoted Comment Me too! But there are plenty of people who don’t drink at all (which was the case at our wedding too) so according to the venue it evens out. I’d be fine if we went over a little, but to think everyone averaged 6 drinks and then were able to drive home is a little much in my opinion.
Also, from the tally, there was much more beer consumed than wine.

Nothing to be done about the leftovers. Maybe they forgot them, maybe they discarded certain items due to food safety concerns, or maybe you guys missed a box at the venue, or , your guests ate all of it. All possibilities, and all strictly speculative, so there’s no course of action. (You could say “you didn’t give me my pasta!” and they could say “it was all eaten!” and you’re back at square one. So, just let it go.
(for what it’s worth, our caterers said they’d leave us the leftovers and they ONLY left the proteins. Im presuming dinner-wise maybe the sides all got eaten [wouldnt be surprised if someone licked the risotto serving dish clean, it was that good!], but the dessert I suspect there was some leftover and it just didn’t get wrapped up because it was the end of the night and the coordinator was gone and someone just messed up. Or, it just wasn’t an item that would keep well [sliced shortcakes] so they were discarded for quality assurance. Either way, I’ve moved on. A little bummed day one since I didn’t try it at the wedding and everyone was raving about it the next day, but it is what it is and it’s not a big deal moving forward)

re: booze: ask for an itemized list....but understand it is DEFINITELY possible your guests drank that much more, as the estimate of 3 drinks per person is quite low. Im also wondering if the additional charges include things like tax and tip, bumping up your total in a way that surprised you. (Tax and tip are normal on a bar charge). But still, they have to have the itemized receipt and you are entitled to see it. Supposing that is what your guests drank (I did the math and it’s not an outrageous number of drinks per person if you have a drinking crowd and it was an average lengthed event— especially if there are additional fees in there!!... my guests definitely drank ...more than that number). The big issue here is that the venue seriously lowballed you with their three drink estimate. I don’t think there’s anything to be done realistically if your guests drank what they drank, but worth giving feedback to the venue that their calculations were misleading— we purchased our own alcohol so I did a lot of research, and every calculator suggested that on average to plan for 2 drinks per person for the first hour and then 1 per person for each additional hour , adjusting up or down for your crowd (so that’s averaging 5 for a normal length wedding for a mixed crowd [we rounded up to 7 per person for planning since we had a party crowd]).....so nothing you can get if that’s what your guests drank but TOTALLY fair to express your disappointment with their lowballing and mismanaging expectations. I don’t expect anything to come out of it except maybe better advising toward future couples.

re: the space, I’d probably ask them for reimbursement of the money spent (new rehearsal location and plants) because the space wasn’t as promised. Unfortunately, if the space wasn’t described in the actual contract, they may not be willing (or obligated) to give here, but, it doesn’t hurt to ask.

At any rate, giving feedback to a venue after the event is ALWAYS appropriate, even if you don’t stand to gain. I LOVED my caterers but they asked for full feedback—good bad and ugly , so I detailed everything very thoroughly, from loves to even slight disappointments, as it helps them in the future.

View Quoted Comment Not sure why it says that, we got married less than two weeks ago! Lol

All the wine and beer was on tap specifically to avoid that issue. And I know people set down drinks, don’t like what they ordered, etc. but I can’t imagine every single person ordered 6+ drinks throughout the reception. We had plenty of guests who didn’t drink at all because they had to drive or just had babies, or they just don’t drink. Our wedding was pretty low key so that’s why I’m so shocked we doubled our predicted alcohol consumption. We didn’t really notice anyone being particularly drunk-past the usual wedding buzz.

Definitely contacting a lawyer if we can’t resolve the construction issue. Thank you for the help!!

View Quoted Comment This is super helpful!! Thank you! I totally feel like they mismanaged expectations. That’s the perfect way to put it. Obviously I’m frustrated with the charges after the fact-we don’t have a drinking crowd and it didn’t seem at the time like people were drinking much either so that could be part of why I’m so shocked, too. Definitely seeing if we can work something out about the venue, that was really hard to work around in the short time frame, and really disappointing since we went from a beautiful water view on a cliff to a random side yard at an intersection....

the food really doesn't bother me, just with everything else it seems like one more thing the venue mismanaged. I really appreciate the feedback and will certainly provide some to the vendors.

Thanks

As someone who has worked many years in food service/hospitality these are only my insights:

1) Obviously don't accuse them of lying, but ask if they have dated receipts or tills. If they run their operation properly, most bars will keep till to track consumption and cost of goods for their accounting.

2) It may be possible that a few people had seconds. I've also heard of caterers serving meals to other vendors (photographers, DJs, etc) and even their own staff. After working several hours on my feet, I'd want a little nibble too.

3)If you have this promise in writing, ask if they can comp you for your unexpected rehearsal expenses. Or waive that additional alcohol charge.

People consume a lot more if it’s free, something to keep in mind. I could easily see people going back for seconds or thirds when they don’t have to pay for it.

I would argue that they promised you the venue would be in its original condition and due to the fact that it wasn’t, and you and your guests were inconvenienced by it, you’d like to work out a partial refund. Once you say that, they might tell you not to worry about the difference in alcohol cost. After all, you were promised all the grass would be replanted, and that didn’t happen.

Why they quoted based on a 3 drink assumption is ludicrous. People drink that during cocktail hour alone. Figure 5-6 per person easy. Especially if just beer and wine over 4-5 hours and eating. If you had liquor it might have been fewer per person.