3-4 year engagement too long?

There’s no such thing as a “normal” engagement length. Some people get engaged and married within 3 months, some people are engaged for 10 years before they get married, some people get engaged and never get married. You have to do what’s best for the two of you. Will you be ready for a wedding, emotionally and financially, in 2 years? I think wanting to finish school and save money is extremely responsible before getting married. Is there some kind of compromise here? 3 years maybe?

My engagement was 3.5 years long! When we got engaged my now husband was working 3 jobs just to get by and I was working on my degree. He didn't have health insurance and I was under my parents. It would not have been smart to get married then. So we waited, and before we knew it my now husband got a full time job with benefits, then promoted to an even better job, and I graduated and got a full time job. So we moved in together and started planning our wedding 18 months before our date. The long engagement worked out well for us! We learned to get through hardships and got to celebrate our success and were able to afford a really amazing wedding!

My advice is to wait until you are about 2 years from the wedding to start planning anything. You'll change your mind a lot over time, and your tastes will change too. For example when we first got engaged we were thinking to have a 200 person wedding but when we actually started planning we realized how unrealistic that was. Definitely wait on picking your bridal party as well. Our friendships changed quite a bit between getting engaged and starting to plan so I'm glad we didn't ask anyone too early.

Congrats
It does feel long but it looks like both of you agree on 3 years!
Mine was a year and trust me that flew by like a BLINK. Three years sounds long but god it'll go by so fast.

I *personally* think it's too long, but what works for me maybe isn't right for you. There's nothing wrong with a long engagement, although I wouldn't start planning until about 18 months out.

View Quoted Comment Yea I think our middle ground is 3 years!

View Quoted Comment Thanks for the advice! I don’t like waiting BUT it does give us time to save up for the wedding we really want!

View Quoted Comment I agree it feels long now but I’m sure the years will fly by!

View Quoted Comment Thank you! I think that’s a perfect time to start planning!

View Quoted Comment

Did you get married yet?

View Quoted Comment Yes! We got married and March 28,2021!

View Quoted Comment

Nice!!! CONGRADULATIONS!

I just recently got engaged, and our engagement is going to be about 3 years so we can be financially set for it. I think it all depends on what works for you 🤍

It seems okay to have an engagement of 3 or so years as long as there is some goal to it such as graduation or financial stability. The problem is when no real purpose for a long (and indefinite) engagement period occurs.